Friday, April 26, 2013

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal

  • Some people need to just grow up and get over themselves.  Point.  Blank.  Period.  
  • 42 was a pretty decent movie I must say.  The guy who played Jackie Robinson did a pretty good job and he was somewhat nice to look at.
  • You ever go to church with something on your mind and the sermon for the day is relating exactly to that problem?  I had that this past Sunday.
  • This weekend I pretty much walked around feeling like a damn T-Rex.  Why?  From lifting weights.  It's like I can't extend my arms all the day out without it hurting.
  • I seriously wish I had the courage to just shave/cut my hair.  Everytime I see a Black woman with low cut natural hair I'm just in amazement.  They always look so pretty and full of confidence to me.
  • My aunt made some green pomegranate tea with sugar.  It was soooooo good. 
  • My Love & Hip Hop recap: 
    • Scrappy talking about he can't wear the same thing twice.  Negro you are not Jay-Z or Kanye West.  In addition to that I could have sworn he didn't have any money and I'm sure I'm right.  
    • Was Mama Dee drinking wine with a straw?  Ghettoooooo!!!!!  Also why does Momma Dee talk about Scrappy like he's really hot still?  Like stop saying he's the Prince of the South and ya'll have to protect the kingdom.  There is no kingdom to protect.
    • Joseline's weave looks nice.
    • *record scratch* K. Michelle has never released an album?!  Say whaaaaat?  I could have sworn she had at least one.
  • Kim Kardashian is a very good looking pregnant woman.  It almost makes me anticipate pregnancy...wayyyyyyyy down the road.
  • Ever since Ciara's Body Party video came out I've been practicing my own routine for the special somebody...wherever they might be.  Regardless I'm ready.
  • Speaking of music videos, Alicia Keys and Maxwell's new video have me ready to visit New Orleans just to find a hole in the wall club with no A/C where I can dance the night away and leave with a sweat drenched dress.
  • It's time for me to get braids.  I won't have time to twist my own hair once out of the week when my training program starts.
  • Beyonce, please just release this Grown Woman single.  I'm tired of rewatching the Paris performance of it.
  • I'm seriously about to find a way to teach a cycling class.  I find it funny that the first time I tried it back in college I hated it, but now it's the highlight of my week.
  • April 25th-The day all Scandal fans cried because of Huck.
  • Mellie, you're still a b*tch.  Like a big time b*tch.
  • I seriously want a ginger baby.  Like seriously I want my Black baby to come out with red hair and little brown freckles.  If that doesn't happen I'll adopt a white ginger baby.
  • Blue Ivy is quite an adorable child.
  • My uncle asked me how much a bottle of Grey Goose cost.  My family thinks I'm an alcoholic ya'll.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

  • Went to Pajama Jam to indulge in one more UGA party.  Best time of my life.  Point.  Blank.  Period.
  • Cyndi Lauper ruined Otis Redding's Try A Little Tenderness when she performed it on The White House's Memphis Soul concert.
  • Speaking of Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is not a cute song while cycling.  Neither is Ciara's Ride or any other song I used to love until it was introduced in either of my cycling classes.
  • There's a Christian couple out there abstaining from sex and they're already married. I'm sorry but that's part of the whole excitement of getting married.  If you're not getting it in then why get married?  Nevermind I was informed that was a satire website.
  • Saw my old beautician from like 11th grade today.  He looked at my hair and said, "You finally went natural after all those times I burned your scalp."  I awkwardly laughed because he seriously burned the hell out of my scalp.
  • Squats after a run are a horrible idea.
  • I had a customer ask me if she could get a military discount on a gift card.  I was at a lost for words.  I also had a customer tell me to give him an adult and child ticket for him and his CLEARLY grown girlfriend.  Like negro, don't be that cheap...please!  In addition to this the negro had THE NERVE to call me "scared."  Naw mu'f*cka, I just like having a job.
  • My male friend is starting to read my feelings too much for me.  No bueno!
  • Why is this house so damn hot?!?!?!
  • I'm trying to adjust to lipstick.  This is hard but they do look good on me.
  • I think Hamburger Helper is starting to disgust me.
  • Got a free meal to some Italian place.  Time to treat myself.  Should I have the wine or the Italian cream soda with it?  Decisions, decisions.
  • I have a confession.   When I was growing up I wanted to be a writer.  Like write books and all that.  I remember for my 4th grade career day I dressed up and walked around all day with a book and oversized glasses.  
  • Eddie Redmayne, the dude from Les Miserables and My Week With Marilyn, can get it with his fine, freckled face behind.
  • Everytime this Southpark episode with Butters becoming obsessed with a girl from Raisins comes on I have to watch.  It's just hilarious to me!  Hey cutie!  Welcome to Raisins!
  • Follow me on Goodreads!!!  Please?!
  • Bought this Revlon color stick in a color called Cherish.  It's all right.  Very subtle which I like.
  • I'm guessing Brittney Griner discussed her sexuality recently after the WNBA Draft.  Ummmm if anyone thought she was into penis to begin with they were a fool.
  • Did Justin Bieber seriously go to The Anne Frank House and write that he believed she would have been a "Bielber" or whatever the hell his fans call themselves?
  • I'm starting to realize that the attraction I've developed somewhat towards Jay-Z is because of his business savvy.  Yeah he might not be the cutest man in the world, but damn it he's smart as hell about what he ventures into.  Who doesn't like a man that's on top of his game?
  • I just submitted my picture to be in the UGA promo commercial. Fingers crossed that I make it!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

  • After hearing Amy Winehouse's "Back To Black" single I'm not sure Beyonce doing cover is the greatest thing.  Like I really felt Amy's version of the song because her voice is so soulful.  Beyonce, although I love her voice, has more of a commercial/pop voice.  Oh well we'll see.
  • I'm in the mood for writing.  I seriously need to sit down and write all of my thoughts out.
  • You ever just wanna tell somebody to get the f*ck out of your face?  Like not even in an angry type of voice.  Just look at them dead in the face with the calmest eyes, blink twice, and say politely "Get the f*ck out of my face."  Then just stare at them with calmness in your eyes as they're lost in regards to what just happened?  
  • Ray J is coming out with a song called, "I Hit It First" in regards to Kim Kardashian.  Somebody get him several seats.  I don't care if it's a lawn chair, a bar stool, a bean bag, or a rocking chair.  He needs to SIT DOWN!
  • Oprah why did you dress up as Miss. Sophia to create a commercial with Tyler Perry's Medea?  Like seriously.  Alicia Walker did not approve of this coonery.  
  • Dear Trinidad James, what is the difference between a main chick and a main guhl?  I thought they were the same but according to you these two women, in addition to your side chick, are no longer feeling you anymore.  Please elaborate for me.
  • My Dad said I should cut the "baby hair" on the nape of my neck.  I just about went off on that old man.  This is very soft and well maintained hair.  I'm not walking around here with little naps.  It shows the Native American side of my family...'cause all Black people claim that.
  • Speaking of hair I still want to get mine blown out.  Who wants to make a donation to, Help Brittany Look Like She's Just Got A Fresh Relax?
  • Finally read about this Mendeecees character from Love & Hip Hop:  New York.  Ummmmm why is Yandy with him?!  He's been to jail for being a part of a drug ring, accused of child molestation, and now he's back in jail on trial for selling drugs...AGAIN.  Like Yandy seems to have her ish together.  She can't find a black man without all this baggage?  Or a white one?
  • I was told that I look like I run through parks.  I have never felt so warm and tingly.
  • I want a diamond candle.
  • I went to this event downtown in my hometown for Masters Week that let people sample food from different restaurants in the area.  Oh.  Em.  Gee.  I was such a fatty!  I had like three samples of pita bread and hummus, four mini-cake bites, two things of Marcos pizza, etc.  I only paid $1 to get in and I left feeling so full!
  • Someone tell LL Cool J to have SEVERAL seats with this new collaboration he has with Brad Paisley.  Like not four seats but an arena full of seats.
  • Farrah from MTV's Teen Mom is an aspiring porn star it seems.
  • I really want to teach a cycling class.  I need to get better first, but yeah I'll add that to my life goals.
  • I seriously hate the ghetto bowling alley in my city, but I can't be too mad when they offer two hours of bowling for $12 including shoes.
  • J. Cole is that dude.  He might be crazy, but he's that dude.
  • Whenever I'm singing and my Mom joins in have to remind her that I'm Beyonce and she's Kelly.  Not Michelle, but Kelly.  Why?  Because she'll never be as good as me and be forced to live in my shadows for an eternity.
My ponytail is longer than this when I have it twisted up.  I just wanted ya'll to know.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

  • My friend and I went to a 70's themed event last Friday for a local fraternity.  The first ten minutes or so of our night was made of us debating if this man was gay.  This is life.
  • Black people ya'll need to calm down when Tyler Perry movies comes out.  I understand being supportive but yeah.
  • Speaking of Tyler Perry movies, Lance Gross can get it.  Ya'll know I like chocolate.
  • Tell me why this little boy slapped this other boy in the head during Easter Service.  Like I heard that crap.  You're not safe anywhere anymore I guess.
  • I'm pretty sure I ate like 18 rolls from Ryan's between Sunday and Tuesday.  Dinner rolls/biscuits are my ultimate weakness.  
  • The girl at Vitamin Shoppe has already started to remember my face.  We actually had a conversation this when I was in there this week.  Now I'm afraid to go back.  Not because of her but because I don't want to seem like a health food junkie.
  • It seems that I give off the vibe of asexual to some people.  Particularly one of my friends.  I'll be damned.  I gotta start acting like I need The D or something.
  • I'm pretty sure the cashier at GNC was flirting with me as I paid for my overpriced bottle of coconut oil.
  • Lent is over and I can eat desserts again.  You guys I have relapsed soooooooo hard.  I'm pretty sure this is what it feels like for a recovering addict to relapse.  It's not a good feeling.
  • Wreck It Ralph was such a cute movie.  I guess Disney forgot to call me up about doing some voice over work.
  • Have you guys read the article about how college girls need to find their husbands while they're still in college?  College was the LAST place I imagined finding a husband and I credit that to the  forums I went to put on by The Alphas.  Hell, finding a girlfriend is probably the last concern for men when there are so many girls willing to have no strings attracted sex.  This woman obviously doesn't know how life is nowadays.
  •  Speaking of relationships, I wonder what everyone's view is on "dating down."
  • There's this old man that comes to my job and he is sooooooo in love with his wife.  Like I just pray I find somebody like that in my lifetime.
  • I don't appreciate my treadmill pretty much saying, "F*ck that break you want" after I took the speed down to 3.0 to walk a little bit.  Within five seconds it shot back up to 5.9.  Luckily I was paying attention.
  • WTF Shonda Rhimes?!  Scandal JUST had what felt like a two month break!  Now I've gotta wait THREE weeks for a new episodes?!  You are killing me I swear.
  • Beyonce is out here making commercials in outfits that she wore when I was in elementary/middle school.  I'm jealous.
  • Lolo Jones is trying to get that Olympic medal anyway possible I see.
  • The Rza said the best sex he ever had was when he was 16 with a crackhead.  Some stuff you just don't admit.
  • Well I nearly lost my Twitter account.  Good thing I checked my e-mails.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tyler Perry's Temptation: "Confessions of a Marriage Counselor"

Okay so I normally don't watch Tyler Perry films, but there was something about this one that sparked my interest.  I'm not sure if it were the previews, the controversy that surrounded it because of Kim Kardashian "fixing" the lead female character (Which she really doesn't.  Kim's role is more of the uh, how do I say this, the bitch at work who hates on you because she's probably jealous.), or the fact that my boo Lance Gross was in.  Regardless I saw it.  Now I went in expecting the usual Tyler Perry, which is constant reminders of follow the Lord and don't let the devil get to you.  Don't worry there was plenty of that as the lead female's (Jurnee Smollett-Bell) mother was a reverend, how early on in the movie it is mentioned the mother and daughter would walk to church, and Jurnee's little mention that she is a Christian so she doesn't believe in sex before marriage.  All in all the film was somewhat decent.  Although the timeline of the movie is horrible as the married couple go from looking like they were teenagers in the 90's (thanks to that Kid high top fade) when they're really only 25/26).   Don't get me started on the aging.  I believe that Perry needs to hang up the screenwriting hat and just hire someone else.

You're  Happy Until Someone Else Comes In The Picture Saying Things Could Be Better
Obviously the film is highly targeted at young adults.  All of the leads are portrayed as being in their 20's with Jurnee's character mentioning that she'll be turning 26 in a few days.  Perry really plays up Jurnee being this country hick that's moved to a big city just in the ways that she dresses and Kim Kardashian's character is there to remind us that Jurnee really can't dress.  (Sounds like art imitating life for Kim.)  This rich billionaire enters the picture and is pushing really hard to give Jurnee The D.  Like seriously, he wants to offer that to her bad.  She seems to be in love with her husband and mentioning little things about him, but she soon starts to fall victim to...temptation.  Robbie Jones plays Harley, the seducer, and makes little inappropriate comments that spark Jurnee's interest in just how much greener the grass on the other side is.  He tells her how sex should be.  Which is not in a bed but more like animals having sex any and everywhere instead of the same mundane places.  Of course this dumb girl takes it to heart and goes home slapping her husband in an effort to have sex like animals.  She was so content with her sex life until someone else tells her that her man just isn't doing it right.  I'm sure you all know what this leads to without me saying it, but I will anyways. She finally caves in and get the billionaire D.  Ladies, don't be fooled by the d*ck talking abilities of men.  The same goes for men.  I will say that Perry took a different route instead of the fairy tale ending.