Dating Misadventures of a Black Chick: Communication

So I’ve been texting this guy and I can already tell it ain’t gonna work out. For those of you who know me I’m really not attached to my phone. Sometimes I let it die because there too many other things I’m doing—movies, reading, outside, work. Anyway, he eluded to the fact that I didn’t text him back fast enough. Nigga bye! No explanation needed, I am not here to text you back in record time. Besides I was work.

Next we were talking about webseries and sense of humor. Great! A commonality! Maybe we can really get this conversation going. He says he would like to suggest one for me to watch. I say, “sure, what is it.” He bullshits around and comes back with, ” well, I’m not sure if you’ll like it. I don’t know your sense of humor.” I tell him it can be dry sometimes. He bullshits some more and long story short he says” well I’m not going to recommend it anymore” Me? I’m just thinking like why did we just have this fucking conversation? That time could have been spent on Pinterest doing something worthwhile.

How fucking hard is it to say, “Go to Youtube and search blah, blah, blah.” I don’t have time for poor communicators.

Besides…he passed a judgement right out the box. On to the next.

-MyStrengthFlows

Dating Misadventures of a Black Chick: What Cha Want?

Often in conversation with girlfriends or on the first or second date or at some point in life we’ve all discussed what we want in a significant other. I’ve decided to share a few of my non-negotiables. Before long this list is just going to say male and penis. 

• Open-minded
• Similar sense of humor
• Conversationalist 
• Gentleman- I don’t mind if you open the car and restaurant door every once in a while. 
• Financially stable; able to manage money but not a cheap a$$ 
• Passionate- In the sack and in general. 
• Career-orientated
• Educated— You don’t have to have a doctorate degree but if you just graduated from high school, barely and are working a waged job… just no. See above.
• Adventurous to an extent; I don’t want a f**king couch potato
• Thoughtful
• Able to communicate well 
• Emotionally and physically available  
• Engagement 
• Hobbies- I don’t want you riding my f**king grill all the time. Find your own sh*t to do. And I’m not talking the bar and club every Friday, Saturday, and Thursday nights. 

-MyStrengthFlows

Dating Misadventures of a Black Chick: The Beginning {Guest Blog}

Soooo I’ve been single for a while now and decided it was time to jump back in the game. Not because I needed a boyfriend but because I wanted one. It may have had something to do with moving or wanting someone to wax the… or heaven forbid, male companionship, lots of laughs, good times, and a partner in crime.

Let me paint a picture, I’m not very receptive to men that approach me when out mainly because men do not know how to approach a women. I don’t know about you but “aye, yo, let me holler, and you got a man”, are not acceptable approaches. I don’t give my phone number out to the few that dare approach me in the bar or club because they are only looking for some quick hit it and quit it pussy and I’ll have you know, I’m not a train station. 

After months, yea, we’ll say months, of not dating I meet someone who belongs to the same organization that I do. Very clean cut gentleman, articulate, intelligent— a few of the important characteristics I look for. We’re going places uncommitted… just feeling each other out. After a while, we say lets make it official. We begin dating but in the short month of dating little things began to irk me— mainly his inability to stop talking long enough to let me get a word in, lateness with no courtesy call or text, and he fell asleep during a movie date we had. What really got me was when I realized he was cheap. He said “I’d rather rent a redbox or walk around the park over paying for this $4.00 movie ticket.”

Needless to say it didn’t last. I didn’t care to hang out with him anymore because even a text from him was annoying. We broke it off and that was that.  

Anyway, fast forward I decided what the hell, I’ll sign up for a dating website. After terrible luck and a bunch of men that looked like they lived in their mamma’s basement or kept their money in a rubberband I had a friend help me rewrite my profile. It seemed to help a little and the first date came. First, problem I had was what to wear— flannel, flannel, flannel, striped button down, colored khakis, colored khakis, converse but that ain’t the point.

We grab coffee and let me tell you! When I say the conversation was dull, it was dull. I get through it, convinced he isn’t interested anymore, which is fine and go about my day. About a month later I get a message from him inviting me to another date. I go. Why? For the free meal, duh! And because I wanted to give him a second chance. What a mistake the conversation was still dull and I struggled not to check my watch. The chemistry just wasn’t there. He’s invited me out again but its time I break it off. 

At this point I have 3 other prospects and a date with one of them in a week. Hopefully I won’t struggle to check my watch.

-MyStrengthFlows