Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• Is it too late for me to be Bond girl?  Halle Berry was one so that leaves me to question if I'm pretty enough to be one.
• Speaking of Halle, she had men fighting over her ya'll!  Like the father of her child and current man went to blows.  Her new man got the upper hand though.  Just messed that other man's face all up.
• My emotions are so over the place from this break-up you guys and everything else going on in my life.  I just feel like throwing up and barely wanting to eat.  I'm ready to go back home.
• I stepped in dog poop today.  Therefore to the person with the guide dog in training that just decided to let their pet take a dump w/o cleaning it up...yeah I hate you.
• Chuck D of Public Enemy came to speak at my school.  He reminded me of that one relative who just talks and talks then makes a good point but then starts ranting about other stuff making their point invalid.
• I value the few hours of heat I get in my room everyday before my roommate returns.  It's seriously like a holiday too me.
• Went to trivia night at Mellow Mushroom.  The white guys by our table named their team "Cum Dumpster.  Will Fill You Up."  How very classy sirs.
• Got a B- on one of my papers for a class I was worried about.  After I got that grade I remained happy for like the entire day.  Graduation is so close and just the thought of being the first person in my family (well household) to graduate from college makes me want to cry.
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together it seems.  Every man whose done his girl wrong is taking this as a sign that there's hope for them still.
• On that note I'm waiting on the sex tape between those two because we ALL know that Chris Brown is puttin' it down obviously seeing how this girl should be promoting her latest album.
• Dawgs On Top!
• Black men stop acting like women are some drug like crack that you just can't resist.  I don't care what anyone says.  There's nothing different between white women and Black women especially in the dark.  

Black Friday Ramblings

It's been two weeks, but you know the deal...

• So I just watched this Catfish show.  Lord have mercy.  I would die if I ended up on a show like this and the man didn't look anything like the pictures he sent me.  I'd probably go ape sh*t crazy man.
• I just tried to do the Gangham style dance with no bra on.  Not the move ya'll.  Too much jiggle going on.   My Mom knows how to do it though.  For a brief moment she looked like she was twerking.  The butt was moving one too many times in rapid motion for me.
• I'm convinced that I'm just going to be single forever.  Everyone that I date just doesn't work out.  Of course I'm only 22 years old and I haven't been single longer than six months in the past five years.  Maybe it just means that I need to take a break and evaluate myself and what I want in a partner.  Number one being communication.
• This Honey Boo Boo show is hilarious.  I don't have a tv in Athens so I don't get to enjoy this ratchet red neck ish.  I like how they use deer meat to make spaghetti.  "I ain't had road kill in my belly for awhile."
• My Mom just said my cousin Ashley reminds her of Honey Boo Boo.  Well when Ashley was like 6 or 7 years old.  She proceeded to bring up the time Ashley went HULK on my Grandpa over a honey bun.  I died a little bit.
• I just turned the volume up on my Pandora to damn "I Wanna Sex You Up" while my Mom was downstairs.  I'm pretty sure nobody's mom wants to hear their child listening to something saying, "Making love until we drown."  That's just nasty.
• My cousin Ken told me not to bring any white men to any family functions.  I told him that's next up on my list.  He then proceeded to tell me to find a rich one and leave him after a few years.  He said I need to do them like the white girls do the rich Black men.
• My aunt went around asking all my older male cousins with kids if they've put their women up on counters and put it on 'em.  I was done with her.
• The "Annie" that is spoke of in Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal" was a CPR dummy.  You guys if this man wasn't a genius I swear...
• I have to make a confession:  Deep down inside I want to be a housewife or baker.  I made an extremely moist red velvet cake ya'll and smashed the pecans up to put on the side like they do in the store.  Ish was good.  I just need to learn how to make the icing look really pretty.  One day ya'll.
• When I find a husband I swear I'm gonna recite the intro to Michael Jackson "I Just Can't Stop Lovin' You. "I just want to lay next to you for awhile.  You look so beautiful tonight.  Your eyes are so lovely.  Your mouth is so sweet...I just want to touch you and hold you.  I need you.  God I need you.  I love you so much."
• Time to start making those New Year's plans to bring in 2013.  Let me go ahead and find my sexy dress.
• I just told my ex if he writes an album about me I better get my cut.  On that note I will say that this could possibly be a pleasant friendship post-relationship even though the thought of punching him in the face or busting the windows out of his car with a baseball bat have been thoughts in my mind for a brief moment or two.  Sorry dude.

Day 1

Well sometimes around 1:30 or 2AM my relationship ended.  It came out of nowhere and the reasoning behind it probably hit me the worst.  He and I hadn't been talking much of this semester which was leading to a good share of fights and me feeling somewhat neglected.  He pretty much said that me moving to D.C. would be too much for him and he didn't want to spend his life waiting around on me.  The kicker was when I asked if he were breaking up with me I just kept hearing, "I still love you" or maybe that was my imagination.  For the people who view me as some heartless, emotionless person I wish you could see me now.  My eyes are red and puffy from going to sleep crying and waking up crying.  I've never been this hurt in my life.  Every break-up I have it seems like the other person is unsure of what they're doing.  I've heard, "We haven't spoke in awhile.  Do you know what I'm saying?" and now "What do we learn from this?"  Last night I was pretty much given the choice as to what I wanted to do, but the thing was he'd already said if I moved to D.C. he wasn't going to sit around and wait so there wasn't much of an option.  It's not like I would say, "Let's stay together until we find out if I got in" because if we did that and I got accepted (which I will as I know in my heart) it would have been pretty much placing stitches in a head wound and the doctor removing them before it's healed.  I didn't want that.  No girl wants that.  It would pretty much be me walking around with a smile on my face as if everything is all right until March, but in reality there was a piece of me that wanted that option.  My brain just knew it wasn't smart.  I had already been telling some of my closer friends in Athens that I just felt like he had fallen out of the relationship and maybe his newly developed feelings on my post-graduation plans were the deciding factor.

Like any normal person that deals with a break-up I start to question myself.  Maybe I was too mean, didn't show enough love, or obviously perhaps someone else came in the picture that caught his eye and someone that could give him the attention needed.  I honestly just sit replaying everything in my mind that could have gone wrong.  Do I think he's a bad person?  No, this was probably for the best and later on down the road I'll appreciate it.  I guess I kind of just wish this could have been held off, but that's just my heart talking again because this probably would have been much worse if it were before Christmas.  I even found myself in a somewhat weak position last night as I sent him a text at 4 o'clock in the morning apologizing for whatever I could have done.  As I wrote the sentence out a piece of me felt like I was just begging him to not do this.  I also found myself just feeling physically sick.  I remember telling him that I just wanted to throw up and even this morning I feel the same exact way.  I couldn't even finish my sausage this morning and I'll be surprised if I eat much tomorrow.

He tells me that I'd still be his best friend, but sh*t just doesn't work like that.  It's like sitting there knowing everything that you've had for a person, but taking the second best option of just remaining a close friend.  Then someone else comes along that the person develops strong feelings for and you're pushed out of the way. No girlfriend/boyfriend probably wants to hear that you're best friends with an ex that you claim to have had such strong feelings for, but that could just be me.  I'm not sure if I've said this, but he's not a bad person.  I don't want to spend two years being upset with him and turning my nose up everytime I see him or his name comes across my phone, but it's not like I'm going to be at his house tomorrow giving him a hug as if everything is all right.  In five years the longest I've been "single" was six months and those six months were pretty much the time when I was going out on dates with this guy.  I'm just going to take the next year or so as time to get to know myself.  I guess this does ruin my plan of being engaged by 25 though which I can chuckle about.  I guess this is the time when I start training for a marathon or something.  Perhaps you guys will see me in the Brazil Olympics.  Maybe?  Anything is possible...right?

It wouldn't surprise me if I start just writing about my feelings after all of this because this is probably the longest I've gone without crying since it all took place.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• Congrats to President Obama on winning another election.  I'm happy to see this happen and happy my FB page wasn't filled with ignorance like it was back in 2008.
• With that said everyone would be happy if the way we selected our president was Hunger Games style.  Whomever can survive wins the seat.  That's the only way you truly know the best candidate won right?  #KatnissEverdeen2016
• Feta cheese dip at The Grill in Athens will make women have sex with waiters in exchange for its deliciousness I discovered Sunday Night.  So forget about using bandz to make her dance.  Feta cheese dip will make her dance...and then some.
• I love my nose ring.
• I never promote my other blogs on Facebook as much my Friday Ramblings.
• I'm under so much stress right now it's sad.  Jesus take the wheel.
• I've decided that I really want to work on some type of campaign.  Let's make this happen.
• It's 2:45 AM EST and Florida still hasn't been called.  WTF?
• Thursday and Florida has finally been called...smh.  Please lets just give them back to Spain.
• I really like the Lady Gaga version of Kendrick Lamar's "B*tch Don't Kill My Vibe."  The album version scares me...a little bit.
• Ole Miss can suck it.  It makes no damn sense their students were RIOTING over Obama's election. Like seriously when Bush got re-elected in 2004 students at HBCUs weren't burning signs.
• I've decided that I want to work on some type of election.  I wonder how I go about that.  If only I had figured that out before now.
• Next week is about to be Hell Week.  I'm not excited you guys...like seriously.  My continued procrastination has not helped with that.
• Why does that Diamond chick from Crime Mob have a song called "Lotta Money?"  I feel like it's kind of a slap in the face to Scrappy after he said she left him when he got broke.  She disagreed with that.
• I can't think of anything funny that's happened this week.
• I did start a new Tumblr.
• Pay day. *twerks around UGA campus*
• I'm about ready to shave my hair off.  This girl told me I should just loc my hair.  I told her hell to the naw.
• I'm writing a script right now and thinking to myself, "If I put a sex scene in here that sh*t would be awkward as f*ck to watch.  I say that because I found a sex scene from Showtime's Soul Food and I can only imagine how that ish went.  
• Speaking of scripts my friend said I should just pick up and move to California to start writing screenplays in hopes of being discovered.  Yeahhhhhhhh not to sure about that one.
• Have you guys seen this new Gerber baby?  Not to be mean but yeah they need to keep that old picture.  This little girl just ain't doin' it  for me.

All The Single Ladies

There are times when I question if I'm made for marriage...like seriously.  There are some people out there who have been with someone for over 30 years and preach everyday about how much they still love the person.  Let's not even get started on folks who have been together 50-60 years.  My parents have been married for 33 years and I question how in the hell they do it.  They're not this super affectionate couple like the ones I mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph.  I've never seen them hold hands in public or simply in the car while driving.  They kiss and all that junk every blue moon for which I still turn my face like a 5 year old but I kind of don't see how they do it.  I've had a total of two boyfriends, one that I'm currently dating, and after a year or so I just become so damn aggravated with little things that I question how in the hell am I supposed to make this last a LIFETIME.  Hell I even give kudos to those people that have been boyfriend and girlfriend for five years because I question if I can even do that...sounds horrible I know.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• I've been turned down FIVE, I repeat, FIVE times for semi-formal.  At this point I'm just convinced it's me.  My favorite rejection was the guy who said he had to go to the gym.  Yeah it's sad.
• Zoe Saldana can go take several seats for tryna b*tch about the uproar people are having because of her playing Nina Simone.  I think people are more offended at them spray tanning her so she'll look darker.  Obviously this is a cheaper option than just hiring a woman who has a skin tone like Simone's/
• I watched that "horror" movie called The Roommate.  Within the first 10 minutes that movie was a "What Not To Do During Your First Year of College."  From the girl flashing everyone at the frat party, to the other chick just meeting this dude and kissing him, and my favorite the girl having sex with the guy and later on he finally calls her his girlfriend.  Girl what were you when ya'll were knockin' boots?
• I want an immersion blender and a fondant smoother.  I'm very serious.  Someone make that happen.
• I got fun dip and a ring pop at this event at UGA.  Can we say childhood memories brought back like no other?
• When are they coming out with a sexy Princess and the Frog costume?  I'm seriously waiting to dress up as a slutty version of Disney's first Black princess.
• I sat my brown behind at home for Halloween.  I'm too young for this guys.  I can already see myself living a miserable life when I get older. *sigh*
• I'm convinced I'll end up marrying someone that's a Black & Hispanic mix.  I'm not sure what it is about that mix  but yeah.
• Ain't nobody effin' wit' my clique.
• There was no point in saying that previous statement, but yeah.
• I need to make serious life changes and I know I keep saying that but it must happen.
• Congrats to my freshman roomie/frat brother/friend for getting accepted into Teach for America.  She's extremely dedicated already I feel and I know she'll be a great teacher.
• April 6, 2013 The Color Run 5k is taking place in Atlanta.  I WILL run it.  
• I'm trying to figure out how to make my hair remain soft past the day I twist it and the next day.  Recommendations are more than welcomed.
• I'm mad Scott and Kourtney dressed up as damn Batgirl and Robin for Halloween while Kim and Kanye were Catwoman and Batman.  No way in hell I'd be my sister's sidekick or whatever on Halloween in addition to every other day in life.
• Green apple Twizzlers are not that good you guys.
• Rihanna was a marijuana bride for Halloween.  Very creative but child bye.
• Why did I just spend $5 on this Essie nail polish?  Damn you Amazon and my lack of self control!