Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, you know the deal...

• Who let Mariah Carey make a fool of herself on the last day of 2016?!
• My Dad swore up and down that I didn't have to go to work on Monday, the day of New Year's Day.  If only that were the case...
• When your Dad asks how much a wedding costs and you read the national average and he just about falls out of his seat.  #ImYourOnlyDaughter #ImTheBaby #ImYourSecondFavoriteChild
• I'm leaving wack car salesmen in 2016.  Don't try selling me a car with a recall on it.
• I'm trying to get that Teyana Taylor body for 2017...after I eat this 8-count nugget from Chick-fil-a.
• I need to put on a bridal expo.  I know these people making money from folks like me buying tickets.
• Thank you to whoever created the humidifier.  I love you and you will get into heaven for this blessing.
• Friday Night Tykes has taught me one thing:  Texas does NOT play about football.  $16k on football equipment for 8 year olds?!  
• Some of these news outlets kind of shady with the announcement of Janet's baby.  "Janet gives birth to first son."  Soooooooo...we still on that story that Janet had a little girl way back when?  We can't just say, "Janet gives birth to first child"?
• Lord let my certificate upgrade hurry up and clear so I can get this pay raise that I've worked towards for the last year and a half.
• 2017 Fitness Goals:  Michelle Obama arms, Beyonce abs, and a Serena Williams booty...maybe a Michelle Obama booty because Serena has a LOT of junk in the trunk.
• I nearly cried watching the video of Cam Newton reading his letter to his son.  
• When your fiance gets you the PERFECT birthday card and writes the PERFECT message inside of it.  
• 
  

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, you know the deal...

• People were up in arms over Kyrie Irving having a yacht party full of white women.  When I looked at the story my first thought was, "Kyrie Irving?  Who is that?"  I had to look him up to discover he's the dude who pretty much got media attention after his girlfriend allegedly cheated on him and let it be known through instagram.  With that said, Kyrie Irving is a nobody in my book still.
• I signed up for a cake decorating class and I realized how I don't eat baked goods like that.  I ate one piece of the cake I decorated and didn't eat another piece.  It was good cake though
• 30 for 30 has me wanting to find a "Bad Boys of Detroit" t-shirt.
• I swear to y'all nothing makes me happier than seeing Black kids who LOVE reading.  Like it seriously touches my soul.  #BlackKidMagic
• Found 144 Expo markers on sale for $75 and then the price went down to $55.  The Lord is good! *hits teacher praise dance* #DryEraseMarkersAreWorthGold
• Finally got around to ordering Warsan Shire's Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth and then discovered soft magic by Upile Chisala.  I swear I should have kept writing because I used to be a young Maya Angelou in my past. #ImBiasedThough 
• Speaking of poetry, I still wish my city had a strong creative community.  I always wanted to attend a poetry slam, but I've never been able to find one.  I also wanted to be in the Vagina Monologues (missed my chance in college because I graduated right before I mustered up the courage) or For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When The Rainbow Is Enuf.
• Why have I been listening to Jodeci none stop since Saturday?!  I realize more and more how the 90's had some great music.
• Also, the men of Jodeci look pretty bad.  This Devante Swing guy was cute back in the day...but drugs will mess you up.
• My skin has just been breaking out all summer in the forehead and chin area.  I swear every summer it's a new area of my face.  Ugh...too old for this mess.  Why me?!
• Summer is almost over.  Didn't cut my hair off.  Didn't get my hoop nose ring...that I've been wanting for almost 10 years.  Decided I wanted a tattoo...know I'm not going to get it.
• Finally got some living room furniture and it's too much for my little place.  I had to get my Mom a.k.a. Suge Knight to make them take 2/3 of it back.
• I swear I spend all my money when the school year approaches.  I had almost $200 in my cart on Amazon, but decided it was best to split my order up.  I know I've probably spent $100 at Target already on stuff for my room.  I need my pay raise NOW!
• Well...Taylor Swift is officially back on my {Bleep} List after Kim Kardashian exposed her lies.  No more sympathy for you Taylor. #HeMadeThatGirlFamous
• When is the annual Racial Draft?  We need to get rid of Omarosa if we haven't done so already.  Director of African-American Outreach?  More like the overseer slave. #ByeFelicia
• Melanie Trump's ghostwriter is out here making her look foolish!  They just decided to copy and paste from Michelle Obama's 2008 speech thinking nobody would notice.  Dude, this is 2016!  The internet is FULL of people waiting on the next set of memes they plaster across the web.  #WeDontCare #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #OneCopyAndPasteAtATime
• "You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies.  You may trod me in the very dirt but still, like dust, I'll rise."  #FamousMelanieTrumpQuotes
• Ted Cruz is out here sticking it to the man y'all!  Dude did what he wanted by not endorsing Trump.
• Everybody needs to throw $50 my way so I can get supplies for my classroom. #BrokePhiBroke #BallinOnABudget
• This child told me she's ready to go to 1st grade so she can have her own desk and get some privacy.  In that moment I thought teaching kids that young may not be that bad...but I think that grade cries a bit much for my liking.
• How did I manage to go to Target and spend $37 on THREE items?!  THREE items!
• I'm going to try this oil cleansing method that Hey Fran Hey talks about.  Here's to hoping my sensitive skin doesn't go crazy.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Wow...it's been awhile since I typed that out.
• I had the "privilege" of being hit on last week while in my car with my friend.  Despite telling the guy that I had a boyfriend he informed me he would happily be my "side n****" because it's 2017.  I should have been kind enough to inform him that it's 2016, but I don't think he would have cared. #NobodyHitsOnMe #BlameMyRestingWitchFace #ImCute #IGuess
• I thought about cutting my hair, but once again I'm a punk.  Like seriously, I am the biggest punk.
• Netflix is the Devil.  I've watch the full House of Cards series (Season 4 didn't impress me too much) and I'm nearly finished with Mad Men (Today is Monday and I'll probably be finished by the time this is posted.)  I'm pretty sure this isn't healthy.  
• Speaking of Mad Men, Don Draper is bae.  Well he would be bae but I'm pretty sure he had to have contracted some type of STD because all he does is sleep with women...like A LOT of women.  
• My friend called my FitBit an old people's watch in a subtle way.  I tried to kick her out of Logan's, but she didn't leave.  I just cut my eyes at her the rest of the time. Taylor this is about you.
• Taking a cake decorating class.  I'm ready to turn in my letter of resignation and sell cakes out of my house.  I mean, who cares if I only know how to do a rosette swirl.  Right?  Baby Cakes coming soon!
• Pretty sure I have ADD but nobody has diagnosed me.
• I need a serious vacation.  As in me at the beach in swimsuit covered in a t-shirt so nobody can see my chubby body.
• American Crime Story has made me obsessed with O.J. Simpson.  Anything that comes on about him I have to watch.  
• My Mom turned 35 despite having a child whose 37 and another whose 26.  I've gotta ask her what's her secret. #SheKnowsAboutTheFountainOfYouth
• My step-grandmother believes men should be allowed to cheat.  I should have informed her that nobody cares about her opinion.
• Have y'all seen the videos of the guy who cooks a bunch of stuff with Hennessy?  Everytime I watch them I want to vomit  and then I question why he's wasting his money and good food.
• I still can't believe Donald Trump is actually a presidential nominee.  Like, Republicans you all should be ashamed of yourselves.  This is the equivalent of letting your bad child get out of hand and to the point that you can't control them anymore.  Republicans, this is your fault.  Be ashamed of yourself.
• OJ's friend AC is a wimp.  He let OJ TAKE his girlfriend, was ready to take a bullet for him, and then was his getaway driver.  I guess some people would say he's a good friend, but I just call him stupid.
• Since I don't have cable I've been watching a ton of 30 for 30 films.  Some of these stories are absolutely sad.  Case in point, Without Bias, which is about Len Bias who died two days after being drafted by the Celtics from a cocaine overdose.
• This alligator case is so out of hand.  They're shutting all these beaches down because of it.  I'll hold some of my feelings to myself.
• How in the heck did the Warriors lose the series?!  Like...I'm not even a basketball fan but the feelings I felt when I discovered the Cavs won game 7.  #LightSkinBrotherComebackHasComeToAClose #StephCurryWithoutTheShotBoy
• Y'all men turned on Ayesha Curry quick, fast, and in a hurry when she said the NBA was rigged.  What happened to y'all wanting an Ayesha in your life?  #SheCanCook #SheCanClean #JustDontSpeakYourMind
• Some of y'all need to teach your kids manners.  I had a kid jump over me at the movies and the grandma didn't tell him to say "excuse me" or anything.  Just rude...I wanted to yank his behind back so bad, but I'm not made for jail.
• Finding Dory was somewhat sad at some parts.  I found myself nearly shedding a tear, but quickly wiped my eyes. #NoTearsOnMyCheeks #ThugLife #StillNotMadeForJail
• OMG Kanye said his wife is the female OJ in this Schoolboy Q song.  This is so amusing to me. My love for Kanye might return.
• Speaking of Kanye...Kim Kardashian should have kept her "soul" food plate picture on her phone.  I saw that picture and laughed for a good minute.
• This woman in my decorating class does what she wants.  Instructor tells us to make buttercream icing.  She makes cream cheese icing.  Instructor says bake a cake so we can tort and level it in class.  She brings the half of the cake that she already torted so she has no true top layer.  Why are you in the class if you're just going to do what you want?!
• Why y'all sending Britney Griner "Happy Father's Day" tweets?  I swear I hate y'all because you have no chill.  Like zero chill any given day.  
• I managed to watch the first episode of Oprah's show Greenleaf thank God for my parents having cable.  It was pretty good.  Not sure how it can be a tv series instead of a miniseries, but if Oprah can keep a story going then it should be fine.
• Speaking of that show, Lynn Whitfield always has to play some evil woman.  ALWAYS!  Her face is super snatched though.  Like that thing just got a lift a month before the series started to film.
• It's so hot in Georgia y'all.  Like my thighs are sweating every moment it feels like.  This could be a sign that I need to lose weight though.
• Mom's out here getting arrested for whipping their kids after catching them in the wrong.  I told my Mom about this and how she should be in jail for all the whippings I received.  Her only response was, "I probably didn't whip you enough." #SheDontCare #SecondChildGetsNoLove

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• OH MAH GAWD!!!!  I've been gone so long from here!  My last post was back in December.  So much has gone on but watch me not remember any of it...
• This school year remained an emotionally draining one for me.  It was very rough on me emotionally, physically, and mentally.  I definitely questioned myself quite a few times and thought about just throwing up the peace sign.  Luckily I didn't or else I would be the teacher you see in pre-planning video that walks off the job.
• The two months my co-teacher was gone was hell on wheels.  I thought about getting pregnant just so I could take a two month vacation.
• I ended up getting transferred in my county to what people would say is a better school.  It was in the same position except with elementary school.  I jumped for joy when I found out.  
• I got all A's in my first semester of graduate school.  Praise God!
• I was on jury duty.  I sent a guy to jail.  #FearMe #LongestTwoDaysOfMyLife
• I got hired in another county to teach in my ideal position.  Guess who submitted a letter of resignation?
• I had the opportunity to go to the High Museum in Atlanta.  OMG I can't wait to go back. 
• I think I want to go on a three day juice cleanse.  Anyone ever had the Suja juice?  Anyone want to do it with me actually?
• I bought some golf clubs!  I figured it would be something fun to try during the summer and a great way to meet rich people in high places.  
• So y'all just gonna buy Creflo Dollar this $65 million private jet?  The Lord really must have sent y'all some serious messages because I just can't get with that.  Hopefully he sends y'all a message to help pay off my student loans too.
• My name has been featured #3 on the Top 15 Names of Girls Who Will Get Engaged In 2015.  Future fiance my ring size is a 5.5 and I prefer princess cut with white gold.
• Next summer I swear I'm not gonna work.  I need to take some time to myself because I need a break from these kids.
• Love & Hip Hop
• What is a "Meeting Of The Mothers?"  Only one person in this group is married to this man and the rest of y'all just laid down with a married man.  They are truly over glorifying themselves.
• Yung Joc has 8 kids?  Between four different women?  I guess he doesn't believe in wrapping it up.
• Then this dumb broad has the nerve to risk her own health and possibly get pregnant by him?  
• The heck is a "promisary" ring?  This must be a old playa type of thing.
• Why is this Mimi sex tape still a big deal?  Y'all knew that mess was planned.  There was nothing spontaneous about that.  
• Joseline just can't stop dressing like a stripper I guess.
• Why Kalena upset about her music not coming out?  She was never popular in Dirty Money.  #YouWereAlwaysTheOtherGirl
• Chileeeee I'm getting these braids in July from the lady who braided them before!  You're not gonna be able to tell me anything.  
• Let's take a moment and just appreciate Steph Curry's adorable daughter, Riley.  Made my ovaries tingle for a second...then I came back to my senses.  
• Now that being transracial is such an accepted thing I would like to announce that I will be living my life as a white woman from here on out.  My Mom has always said that she felt I related better to the white race and now I can finally be with my people.  #CreditScoreAboutToGoUp #LoanAboutToGetApproved #BlackMenAboutToFlockAfterMe
• Diddy has went and jumped on his son's strength and conditioning coach.  Jesus be a grade A lawyer right now.  He let that Harlem, New York come out of him.  #DontLetTheToothpickFoolYou #TakeThatTakeThat
• How are you gonna lie to me about being a teacher when I can go look up your certificate?  SMH...lying does not impress me.  
• Kids are starting to call me old indirectly.  This is what life has come to. 
• Is Michael Jordan ever gonna get his Oscar for Space Jam?
• Went to a conference for one of my summer classes and it was the BIGGEST waste of my time.  How do you talk about your life for 45 minutes of the 75 minutes session?  I came to learn about using arrays in my classroom not that I can see your parents' burial site while watching a tv show.    #WantMyTimeBack
• I hate when I hear people talking to babies in "baby talk."  All I can think about is how it's affecting their speech development.  Is it affect or effect?
• I think I've clocked out for teaching at this point.  I'm ready for my break.  #July10 #WhereArtThou
• How am I supposed to get to my new job on time when I refuse to get dressed for my summer job?  I'm about to live at the school like that book from elementary school just so I can be on time.
• Weaves from the 90's were horrendous.  Thank God they figured out how to use other people's hair
• I want to make some jollof rice.  I've had it once before and don't even remember how it tasted but everyone always raved about it.  #SummerOfNewFood
• Is North West ever gonna get to wear colors besides white, black, and beige?  This child is gonna go to school and struggle with learning her colors at this rate.
• I need to go ahead and send J. Cole a graduation invite since he's always popping up at events for fans.  Think he'll come to the birth of my first child?  
• Speaking of J. Cole, his verse on Jeremiah's Planes always gets me.  I'm always so excited to rap it but afterwards I feel like I need to go to church and ask for forgiveness.  

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Out on Christmas Break!!!!!  Words cannot describe my feelings at the current moment.  This has been a very emotional school year for me.  It has been far from easy but I am pushing through it.
• My Dad said the word "damn" in a sentence directed towards me.  My natural instinct was, "Who you think you cussing at?!"  He later proceeded to put his foot in the chair which resulted in me saying, "Get your foot out of that chair!  No type of home training I tell you!"  #StillInWorkMode
• The t-shirts for debutantes this year are very popular in my house.  My Dad wants one because he too is a "deb" simply because he's my Cotillion photos.
• Time to figure out when I'm gonna get The Beast blown out for the new year.
• That moment when my aunt gave me a little bag of chocolate covered pecans for Christmas...    -___-.  I tried to be appreciative and remember it's the thought that counts but those things looked like she made them and I also know that she had to put her hands on them.  Not cool.
• Speaking of food...someone made some mac  n cheese in my family that looked straight out of the Kraft box.  I'm not the one to brag but I know for sure I could show that family member how to make REAL macaroni and cheese.  #ProfessionalMacaroniAndCheeseMaker
• Finally purchased J. Cole's new album.  I have to listen to it in my car to give a true review but it sounds pretty good so far.  Maybe he'll pop up at my house to do a listening party with me.  *Prays J. Cole sees this blog*
• Since I'm on break I've been watching this Nellyville show and I must question why Nelly is dating this Miss. Jackson lady.  Everything he tells her not to do with his niece she does anyways.  Case in point this twerk class (not sure why you would bring her and expect to sit still) and then getting these booty shorts with tons of holes.  I understand that these "reality" shows are scripted but come on....y'all are not on the same page.
• 25th birthday coming up!!!!  Maybe I'll do a post called 25 Things I Wish I Had Known Before 25.
• I need a massage.
• I'm still tryna recreate this 7/11 video for my birthday.  I need $50 to make it though.  Someone has already volunteered to donate $20.  Who wants to donate the other $30? #SmackItSmackItInTheAir
• Made my homemade red velvet cake.  Too bad I screwed up the icing.  #LiveAndYouLearn
• Anyone want to take me to the movies to see Selma and Into The Woods?  That includes buying my ticket and concessions.  Please not all at once!
• My cousin and his girlfriend have informed that I need to learn how to fry chicken and make stewed chicken.  #TheWayToAMansHeart
• The weekend is here.  Let me prepare to have two weddings, five engagements, and two pregnancy announcements come across my timeline.  

Friday Ramblings: Only Because My Coworkers Asked

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• I'm back to the j-o-b.  Nothing has changed.  I'm still waiting for the moment when everybody says this is supposed to get easier.  
• I know I am getting old because:  (1)  My Facebook is filled with engagement/wedding announcements, (2) My Facebook is filled with birth/pregnancy announcements, and (3) I've attended two children birthday parties in about two months.  
• When pay day hits I will be sure to do the Schmoney dance all up and down the hallways.  #GettingPaidOnceAMonth
• At one point (when the smash cake was presented to the baby or most likely when the gifts were being opened) during my coworker's daughter's 1st birthday party my uterus felt a tingle of, "Brittany, you should have kids."  Then the thought of my school children came back to me.  #MiddleSchoolers #NaturesFreeAndNaturalBirthControl
• I need to get out of this house but at the same time I'm kind of like, "Screw paying these bills.  I'll just suffer."
• When a child tells you they get a check every month for ADHD.  -___-   O_O   >_< 
• Still in search of that public speaking class but I am considering some life coaching.  
• Someone asked me if I could imagine being engaged at 24.  That was a quick answer of "yes."  The goal was 25 but I think it's best to cancel that one seeing how my 25th birthday is only four months away. #MaybeNextLifetime
• Speaking of 25, I need to figure out what I'm going to do for the big day.
• Well thanks to my Mom for ruining No Good Deed by telling me all about it.  Seriously, my only question was "Did you like the movie?" and she proceeded to tell me everything.  
• I seriously need to decide when I'm getting these braids.  
• *Proceeds to wait on another three to five engagement/wedding/pregnancy announcements this week.*
• I saw a white girl in Walmart with a hair bonnet on.  Miley Cyrus or whoever is having a negative effect on these girls.  #LookUpToBeyonce
• RIP to the Schmoney dance also.  This golf team just murdered it with their lack of rhythm and fluid body movement.  I mean, I'm not Josephine Baker but...
• Out here helping people fulfill their graduate class requirements.  Please cut me my check once you get that pay bump...even if it's $20.
• My reaction to this Maroon 5 video O_O  Adam Levine is still beautiful...stalker or not.  
• When a kid tells me they're not afraid to walk off of school property....  Ummmm...  Yeah....  I'm hurt....  Please don't do that!
• Kim & Kanye are doing the most with this baby and her front row Fashion Week adventures.
• Omarion's mom is the equivalent of Mama Dee almost.    
• No to The Duggers giving their sister a baby mobile for a wedding gift.  I would be so ticked off by that gift.  
• This lady let her bridal party wear white.  No ma'am.  
• Well another person I know has ran off and got married.  Everyone will be having grandchildren next.  #GettingOld #IFeelMyEggsDryingUp #AmIJoanClayton
• Kim Kardashian claims that she didn't leave her baby in the hotel while she went out to the car.  She said she was checking for the car seat.  Ummm...don't you have people who handle that?  
• Whose donating to the wisdom teeth removal fund?  Not all at once you guys!  
• Well this week of work definitely made me question if I wanted to go back to wearing a hair net at the old J-O-B.  #28MoreWeeks

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• I am currently on a 90's R&B binge of music.
• So upset that my program canceled Monday's class and pushed it back to next week.  I'm ready to be DONE with this thing.
• In other news it's time for me to look into graduate programs.  I've gotta move up in this world.
• Basketball Wives recap:
• Ummm why is Jackie comparing this cognac that British is drinking to Lorenzo's watermelon?
• British looked cute in her all white I must say.  I'm still lost as to why she's wearing this pink bra with her white shirt in these confessionals though.
• I know Sundy [sic] ain't telling nobody to "humble" themselves in Paris, knowing good and well she can't afford to go there without the helps of Basketball Wives.
• So now we make jokes about people's cancer preventing them from having kids?  #WhereTheyDoThatAt
• Is it May 23rd yet?
• Kenya talking about she could have laid Porscha out in three moves because she's learned the same self-defense tactics as the Israeli military.  Girl go on somewhere with that!  Your butt got laid out by the person you least expected it from.  Plus all this crap about having to worry about being a role model to young girls.  She doesn't worry about that any other time.
• Why does Nikko from Love & Hip Hop:  Atlanta look like the sloth from Ice Age?!
• The new Hit The Floor trailer is telling me that I need to hit some flexibility classes.
• I made goodie bags for my 8th grade math students.  As soon as I tied the first bag I was overcome with fatigue and regret...even though it was only 20 bags. #DontJudgeMe
• I'm having one of those moments were I feel like my life is not on course but I'm gonna fight the feeling off before it takes over.
• Watching The Little Couple makes me want an Indian baby.  This little girl is just too adorable with her bowl haircut.  
• Why must graduate school cost so much?!
• This Waffle House breakfast was amazing this week.  #CollegeGotMeAddicted
• I hate packing but being able to see my boo Andre 3000 will make it worth it.
• Wife Swap is always such an interesting show.  I always enjoy seeing the super strict mom and the I-Let-My-Kids-Do-What-They-Want mom switch houses.  It's pure comedy.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Well the demand for shower rods is about to shoot up after that whole Mimi and Nikko think.  Surfboard is officially retired.  #ShowerRodt
• So close to being done with this program.  Lord Jesus let me make it!
• Taxes done!  We'll be popping bottles of Evian at the club pretty soon!
• Basketball Wives Recap
• So VH1 can show outlines of male body parts now?
• Sundy [sic] cannot draw.  I thought I was about to see some decent drawing from her when she said she was an amateur artist and loved to sketch.  Some things are better left unsaid.  
• Jackie has all these "friendships" with women I'm pretty sure she just met.
• Kool-Aid man used to wear shorts and a Hawaiian looking shirt when I was a kid.  Now they're just letting the man walk around naked.  What has the world come to?!
• I enjoy watching TI with his family on his show.  He seems like a really good dad.
• Saw some lilies recently.  Ummm...can we say beautiful?!
• Jhene Aiko's new video is EVERYTHING!  That car keying scene was giving me so much life.  Like it took me back to last year when I just envisioned myself keying this man's car.  Good thing I came to my senses.
• The Purple Diamonds who were featured on Bring It are ratchet with all that tooting their butts up after winning the competition.  They're ratchet just like the Ques I've been exposed to.  I guess that's why they share the same colors.
• The first day of testing involved me testing...ALL day.  I was ready to fall asleep on the kids in the afternoon.
• I went to look for some Sara Lee chocolate chip brownies that my coworker has.  She said she got them at Walmart and I specifically told her the ghetto Walmart wouldn't have them.  She didn't believe me but my prediction was right.  Now I have to find these brownies.
• Oh yeah...LENT IS OVER SUNDAY!  Back to the red meat, soda, and desserts.  I did mess up like two days though.
• Firecracker Chicken Wraps at Longhorn's are delicious! 
• I'm trying to understand why folks are so upset about Diddy being the speaker at Howard's graduation.  Yeah the man didn't graduate but the reason he left was because he was offered the chance to start working in the field that he wanted.  Steve Jobs went to college for six months, less than Diddy I believe, and y'all weren't this upset.  Oprah dropped out of college too but nobody was complaining about that either.  The man is successful and let's be honest, most of those college graduates aren't going to be multimillionaires like him.  So all those people saying, "I want someone whose earned their to degree to come show me that this is what you can do when you earn your degree" need to take SEVERAL seats.
• That was long.
• Jay-Z and Beyonce may be going on tour together.  Where can I buy my ticket at?  
• I still have a hard time believing people when they say I'm skinny.  #StruggleWithBodyIssuesEst2002
• Finally finished the second season of American Horror Story:  Asylum.  The ending, Lord Jesus I just don't know what to believe anymore.
• I really like this Bando Jonez song Sex You but I have a feeling he's probably super short and ugly.
• Ordered a white dress from Express.  Hoping this one looks less hoochie-fied than the one from last year that I never got to wear that is tight and short.
• UGA better calm down with all these yearly "annual" alumni phone calls.  "Annual" means once.  Therefore calling me three months later makes it a "bi-annual."  You'd think all that money we spend to get an education there people would learn some definitions. 

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• I went to Athens Saturday and it's nice to see that nothing has changed.  White folks still running around the city in their cute workout gear.
• Basketball Wives Recap:
• I'm lost as to how Jackie's daughter can say these other girls are "burning" her mom but the reality is her mom is the one stabbing folks in the back.
• Jackie and these cognac names.
• I'm still at a lost as to what type of voodoo Jackie Christie has on this husband of hers.
• Why are they at a bookstore to get this news about Paris?  Like you couldn't call them up to dinner or coffee for that?
• I see you Draya in the all red!  Tryna look like Jasmine from the movie Aladdin when Jafar took control of Genie.  
• Of course Draya is gonna pick her man's side over Jackie and her daughter's.  I mean, it's no different if someone came to Jackie about Doug trying to get with them.
• What the point of Sunday coming to this place?  
• None of these women on this show are classy.  I wish these hags would stop saying that they are.
• I can't stand hearing TI talk in his "intellectual" voice a.k.a. while I was in prison I read the dictionary every now and then.
• Is it bad that when I was at Walmart and saw these three bad kids my first thought was, "Watch they end up at my school."
• Cadbury has been using the same commercial since I was a kid.  I know for a fact they save a ton of money on advertisement.    
• Summer's almost here.  I'm ready to start swinging my long braids.  
• One day I'll be rich enough to have a summer house somewhere that's not in my city.  #DontHaveToWorryAboutSeeingAnyKids
• A friend of mine told me that I'm "hard to please" and I just couldn't accept that.  Therefore, being the person I am I reached out to two people who would know.  Neither said I was hard to please.  Argument settled.
• I seriously need Dianne from Bring It to do something about that overbite.     
• Finally got around to watching Wolf Of Wall Street and Mister & Pete.  Both were pretty good.  Wolf Of Wall Street was extremely long, but man it was crazy.  Jennifer Hudson looked a mess in Mister & Pete and the little Asian boy knows he wanted his privacy.
• Doc McStuffins mom is kind of hippy.  Glad they gave her a black woman's body.
• Went in to get my oil and tires rotated.  Found out I needed to get my wheel bearing fixed at the cost of $203.  Lucky for me my Dad is semi-mechanic.  The Benz is riding real nice right now.  
• My ticket/wristband for the Counterpoint Festival finally came in!!!!  I'm so close to seeing Rich Homie Quan, Janelle Monae, J. Cole, Major Lazer, and Outkast in one weekend!
• I need to get some cute clothes for this festival now that I think about it.
• Looking to get some tickets to see The Braves play this summer.  So many options.
• It seems I was selected by one of my programs to represent my cohort by them having someone come in and observe my classroom.  Luckily they canceled that the same day the e-mail was sent.  They don't need to come see these kids. #NoNewFriendsInClub306
• My uncle told me my dresses should fall below my knees to keep my legs a mystery to men.  I laughed that off immediately.  Warm weather means my legs are out.  #SummerTimeFine
• My cousin's boyfriend got smart with me Thursday.  I almost had to pop off at him.  #YouDontKnowMe #TurpinStreetBreed #SuburbsRaised
• I did nothing productive this week and a part of me doesn't care. *shoulder shrug*

I just need to finish out April and May.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• Let me do a Basketball Wives summary for the past two weeks:
• Why must Basketball Wives be so ratchet?  Just why?!  And why must I enjoy it so much?! 
• And why Jackie ol' crazy same weave track wearing behind start that mess up? 
• And why is Sundy dressed like a video girl from an early 2000's music video?  I was just waiting on Lloyd to pop out and start singing to her.
• How many times has Draya said she wasn't gonna be trusting Jackie? 
• Lorenzo needs to stop acting like he's a dang on Laker.  You ain't Kobe.  You ain't Lebron.  You ain't even the lowest paid NBA player in the league.  Get it together man.
• So pretty much  Draya's boyfriend was Catfish'ed by Jackie's daughter.  Oh God...
• Jackie's daughter is pretty but she has issues over a man that's not even hers.
• Why does Draya have these black women at this zombie run?  We don't do that mess.
• My Monday night last week was a crazy time filled with me helping out my sibling.  If I were truly mean I would have left him on the side of the road.  Plus I had to go bang on his door like a bill collector Sunday before church...but the Lord was with me as I went to retrieve my money.
• Someone buy me a copy of this Radical Math Volume 10 book please and thank you.  It has a lot of games in it that seem pretty cool.
• This week has gone by fast but not fast enough.
• Summer Break?  Where art thou? 
• I'm glad the temperature finally made up it's mind as to what it was going to do.  I don't have have time to be wearing stockings still.  #TinaTurnerLegs #ThatsWhatAnOldManToldMeOnce
• Speaking of old men, that awkward moment when an old creep asks you if you went to school and you tell him you taught at school today to which he says how much you look like a student and has nothing else to say.  #HeMightHaveBeenAPerv
• Somebody made a comment about my old high school being majority Black and I commented saying how it was 51% Black and 48% white in '08. Some white kid said, "I was the only white kid in all of my classes."  It took everything in me not say, "Must not be fun being the minority for once in your life."  
• Black Ink is back on.  Dutchess is still annoying as hell.  Nothing has changed I see.
• Sooooooo in the Walmart parking lot some girl and her boyfriend were talking.  The boyfriend looked at me and the girl noticed.  She loudly said, "Why you looking at her?!"  His response was, "Because she looks f*****g good!"  Once he said that I started walking around them but Lord Jesus that girl started power walking and I thought she was about to pounce on me.  I was gonna end up on World Star because I wasn't gonna go out like a punk.
• I'm about to break Lent all types of ways this weekend.  I'm gonna be eating hamburgers at The Grill with some feta dip, getting a mixed pupusa at Tlaloc, getting one of those diabetes type cupcakes at Gigi's...ugh I can't wait. 
• Somebody asked about "my boyfriend."  I was lost as to who this mystery man could possibly be.  
• This girl decided to announce to the whole class that she has 9...let me spell that out in caps for ya'll...NINE cavities.  That's the last thing that I would want to admit, especially when I'm like 15.  I bet her breath is ridiculous.  #NoInvitesToTheSocialForYou
• Move That Dope has to be one of my favorite songs out right now.  The beat is crazy and the beautiful Pharrell provides a verse.
• I've been trying to eat a lot of bread lately.  #TeamThickForTheSummer

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• I'm still waiting on the sexy Princess Tianna costume.  Like why has it not happened yet?  As if a Black princess can't be sexy.
• Think I want a flexirod set in my hair.
• I should go blonde...but I don't feel like being bald.  
• Bought an arm band so I can go running and listen to music without having to hold my iPod. 
• Watched an episode of TheWalking Dead with my friend.  That is a good show!
• Google chrome has decided to shut down on me.  Hmmm not good. 
• This Execedrin commercial with the husband and wife in bed is pure comedy.  A woman had to be the mastermind behind that one. 
• I need to plan my trip to Miami for next year.  If all these damn college kids can afford to go there's no reason why I can't.  #MiamiSummer2015
• This past weekend was the "You Date White Boys" from coworkers and my Mom.  I might have gone to an event with a white guy and my Mom will swear up and down that the guy was my boyfriend and we were on the verge of marriage and owning a house.  
• Peach iced tea flavored yogurt.  What is this world coming to?  
• Two weeks until Spring Break.  Let me figure out what I'm gonna do during my week of freedom besides binge on Netflix with my friend.  
• Went to Church's and saw a "Hiring" sign.  I seriously considered applying for a shift leader position.  
• Reminded as to why I don't tell my mom about how my job is.  I don't have time for it. 
• I love my 2nd grade teacher and music teacher so much.  They still have my back after all these years
• Speaking of my music teacher, I showed her my hair blown out and she started talking about how I barely had hair when I was her student.  I was never bald headed so no clue why she said that.  #TeamWearAScrunchieAndHaveHangTime #IGotThatDropAsMyKidsSay
• Voting to have an elective class on personal hygiene.  The sun is coming out and the funk is getting real. 
• I need to go to Cali n Titos.  Which means I need to go to Athens. 
• "How are the boy[friends]?  Guess you'll be married soon."  --> The typical question and response from people. 
• Dang Millie out here having relations with the VP Candidate. Do you boo. 
• Busy weekend ahead.  Exciting!  #NoSleep #ProfessionalNetworkerInTheMaking
• Google Chrome still isn't working on my laptop.  Ugh...I'm making blogs straight off the iPod.  

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• I was told that I don't seem like the type of person to shack up or have kids out of wedlock.  I'll take that as a compliment.  
• New swimsuit and it's a bandeau top!  Here's to hoping I don't encounter any clothing malfunctions with it on at the beach.  #NoJanetJackson  #IllProbablyPutTheStringsOnIt
• Khloe Kardashian is really the best Kardashian.  Her street wear is always a mix of elegance and high class escort to the who's who of rich men.  Yes, I did just say that.
• I look nice in a lot of colors.  This is a sign that Lupita and I might be sisters.
• I have been informed that I have a UGA one-sie waiting me.  Um can we say exciting?!
• This Sour Patch Kids gum from Stride ain't hitting for nothing.  The flavor is gone in like 5 seconds.
• Just thought about the time I was in college and went to get my hair done at the mall.  This really popular girl who was the same year as me was getting her hair done and when she left I got the same beautician as her.  Then the beautician informed me that the girl had a weave.  I never looked at her the same.  #BeauticiansCantKeepSecret
• Did my first Crossfit class.  My thighs are about to feel it.
• Purchased two dresses online.  I have a problem ya'll!
• Everybody and they mama getting engaged.  All I'm asking for is a freaking invite to a wedding.  That's it!  I don't even have to be in the wedding.
• Little body movements hurt.  That Crossfit worked me out!
• Registered for the GRE!!!!  One small step towards becoming Dr. Jones!  #SpeakingItIntoExistence
• Lent has been a struggle this year and it's only been a week!  I had a cupcake last week and this week I had some ice cream.  #TeamNoSelfControl
• Constantly reminded as to why I don't watch The Game simply by the opening five minutes.
• Comic View is coming back?  Ummm...it's never been the same since Rickey Smiley left.  
• Taught a session at Math & Science night.  Proud of myself.  Now just to transfer those skills and confidence to a class of 20+ kids. 
• I've mentioned going to the batting cages over and over but no one has taken me up on my offer yet.
• Even though these kids drive me crazy on a daily basis they are none the less entertaining.  
• I need to find some recipes to try out for this summer.
• It might be time to cut my nails. 
• Drank a freaking 32 ounce Fuze strawberry lemonade.  Ugh...all that sugar and bubbling fat developing on me. 
• The joys of trying to complete job applications they're due.  Here's to hoping for a little summer employment.  #NoDaysOff
• Shout out to the lady at the local Board of Education who stopped me to tell me how much she was in love with my hair. 
• When a kid confronts another kid and says, "Take your balls out from between your f*cking hands."  #Priceless

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• This condom commercial where the son gives the dad protection trips me out everytime I swear.
• Is it summer yet?
• I guess this was the year that everyone decided to go to Mardi Gras and I didn't receive the reminder. 
• Everyone is getting engaged too...nobody cares.  
• Must resist the urge to buy this dress online.  Must.  Resist.  *checks e-mail*  Oh a coupon for $15 off.  
• I surely don't appreciate the temperature dropping during the baseball game.  Went from like 60 to 30 degrees in five seconds. 
• Jackie Christie on Basketball Wives has like the worst grammar in the world I swear.  Her weave game has drastically improved from season 1 to this one.  Yes for those Basketball Wives of LA checks paying for the Indian Remy in select scenes.  You better swing it!
• I learned how to make an arrow on the Promethian Board.  That's one small step for Ms. Jones. 
• I received Teacher of the Week for my school.  Yay for stuffing the ballot box
• I really need to go out of town.  I'm tired of this city.
• I bet Luptia's brother is gonna be one of those fine old African men with some nice salt and pepper hair.  I can see it already.
• A little girl in Zaxby's asked this woman that was apart of her group if she got a kid's meal.  The woman replied with, "No, I don't get kid's meals.  I'm a big b***h."  I was done after that.
• It's always nice when kids who you don't teach ask if you're gonna be coming to their games.  They really do notice that stuff.
• I'm pretty sure some of the students in one of my classes thought I was going through a terrible break-up.  I told them I didn't feel well, had the class lights off, and some sappy Bruno Mars's music playing.  Next thing you know I hear, "Ms. Jones, you are all right?  You look depressed."  
• Oh and in another class my girls said they're gonna set me up with someone.  I told them I was good.  I have no interest in the thug uncles and brothers they might have.
• Saw my 4th grade teacher at the store.  She said she's thinking of going to middle school.  I gave her a death stare.
• Is it Spring Break yet?
• Watched this show called Bring It!  I assume these girls are just doing like marching band type routines.  The coach has a crucial overbite.  
• It feels like everything on this Friday Ramblings is work related...
• Chileee...Alfree Woodard looked rough in Holiday Heart.  She wanted that crack real bad in the scene were she was willing to offer up her daughter to that man in the silk jumpsuit.
• I always find it funny when people think I'm super conservative and don't listen to rap music.  They just don't know the real me.
• Olive Pope just got it in with the president and her side dude is outside listening to the entire conversation of them talk about him.  He must be feeling some type of way.
• "Oh you're not mixed?"  No, I've said this before.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• This is the last day of Black History Month.  Now I have to find a new excuse for why I  can say whatever I want to those of the paler, European complexion.  
• Saturday at young adult Bible study we focused on relationships:  friendships and dating.  This girl said when a woman comes over to a man's house he shouldn't be in basketball shorts and a t-shirt because it presents temptations.  I was kind of lost as to why basketball shorts were such a temptation (Maybe because they slip off easily?).  Then someone else said the guy should at least have on sweatpants.  First thought in my mind was, "That's even worse because you'll see the print of it."  I didn't say that out loud though.  Then they said make sure you have jeans with a belt on.  My thought of that was, "If I want to get to it I will.  Doesn't matter what you have on."  I don't engage in those activities though but I am able to apply my critical thinking skills to anything.
• I have so many coupons for money off at these stores with cute clothes.  Jesus be a financial advisor. 
• I'm waiting on consistent warm weather.  My legs are dying to be out.
• I need to start lifting weight just in cases a need to drag someone.  Drag is code for beat the crap out of them.
• *Looks in the mail for wedding invites.*  Why aren't any of ya'll about to jump the broom?!  I'm friends with the wrong people obviously.  
• I'm just one paper, two revisions, two observations, and a portfolio away from getting out of this program.  Lord Jesus let me be patient.
•  Whenever I have a child I hope it's like a Ginger but Black.  
• Ugh a rueben, strawberry feta salad, and triple berry zinger from ECV would be so good right now.
• "This ain't yo f*ckin' house!  You rent this muthaf*cka!"-Brandi from Basketball Wives LA.  Chileeee
• As much as these kids call each other "nigga" you would assume it were on their birth certificates.  
• Mary Jane has TERRIBLE friends!  I mean absolutely, TERRIBLE!!!  Not one, but TWO friends, tell her to go visit the houses of men who are in relationship already.  
• I've clocked out of work after what happened this week.  I just...I can't.
• I see they're trying to hide that baby bump that Kerry Washington has.  Olivia is slaying in the coats.
• Kindergartners out here "having sex" in the bathroom.  SMH 

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Saw a pretty Michael Kors bag.  Then I saw the price.  It ain't worth it.  No time soon at least.
• The moment when you want to take a nap but have to wait for a package to be delivered...the struggle is real.
• I saw a mint colored pair of shoes at Target.  I need to go get them but at the same time I want to save my money.  *sigh*  The life of being an adult.
• My Mom is quick to tell folks I'm grown when.  This man who was doing something to the vents in our house called me "young thing" or something like that and in like 0.0001 seconds my Mom was like, "She's grown!  She's not young!"  Well dang!
• The moment you see a dress you like online but then look at the price.  This seems to be the theme for the week or should I say my whole life.  Yes, I am cheap.
• Tyler Perry's Single Moms Club is coming out.  Wonder how this one will be different. 
• The moment you go to someone's house and The Walking Dead comes on.  #SittingHereLookingSalty #WeDidWatchTwoHoursOfAHS
• Jesus Christ be some coconut oil and a Tylenol.  These braids are so tight right now but my beautician Candace hooked me up as usual.
• Barberitos disappointed me during $5 Monday.  My black beans were burnt and I could taste it.  I couldn't even finish my burrito.  Made me want to cry.  
• Speaking of bad food, I had the worst Krystal's in my life.  The hot sign was on but the burgers I got were cold and looked old.  Plus the fries were cold.
• I'm just gonna start walking around saying #TeamThickness.  Then maybe, just maybe, my hopes of looking like Buffy the Body below the waist will happen.  If not physically, mentally.
• Tyrese's Lately has been stuck in my head.  Now I'll be walking around working singing it...along with a 100 other songs.  #HumanPandora
• I want to go to New Orleans so bad.  It's ridiculous.
• My Facebook page has been overflowing with post about why you should wait for it before marriage.  Either people were super tempted this Valentine's Day with their significant other and want to remind themselves that they need to hold out a little longer, or people caved in on Valentine's Day and are trying to do some weird psychological trick on themselves.
• Lolo Jones has moved on to bobsledding.  This girl wants a medal so bad but it's just not happening it seems.  The issue might be that she just needs to just give it up.
• I'm getting somewhat tired of Being Mary Jane.  Like we all know that she's gonna keep going back to this man.  I'm also getting tired of these I Am Mary Jane...commercials.  Like why would you even want to say you're like her?  You can't say you're like her because she's confident.  Why?  Because confident women don't have to sleep with married men.  They can find their own.  That's my personal opinion though.
• Somebody in this house ate my last bag of kettle corn popcorn.  This is not okay.  Like seriously.
• I think I'm having a slight case of baby fever.  It's scary and so not me.  I think I've seen too many cute kids lately.
• This lady I work with swears up and down I have a line of men waiting to talk to me.  That's never been a case in this life.  Maybe it was in my previous one.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Started my week off by getting flowers at work.  Peruvian lilies to be exact.  Why is this important?  Because I mentioned how pretty I thought lilies were and it shows that someone is listening.  Kudos 
• I see Future is on Single Ladies tryna get a check for his child support payments for his three other baby mamas, excludes Ciara.  Get them checks boo!
• Pinch & Pull sure does deliver its product fast.  Ordered on Saturday and got it on Monday.
• When most of my students try to get on each other about what they wear...my first thought it always, "Most of ya'll have no room to say anything."
• Pretty sure this girl in my class has a Catfish type of relationship going on.  I asked her about where her boyfriend goes to school at and she says, "I don't know.  It ain't important."  I guess my city will be on MTV soon.
• Walked into class and heard a kid talking about how he was gonna be fresh once that income tax check came in.  I tell ya...
• Accomplished my goal of going to Hooters finally!  The wings really weren't all of that.  Now I know people only go to see the T & A because ain't nothing spectacular about those wings and plus a tiny cup of extra dressing is $0.89.  The Devil is a lie!
• What is up with these chicks on Love & Hip Hop carrying around their pregnancy tests?  Like seriously...that's nasty.  It's pee on a stick.  Take a picture of that mess and just send it to the baby daddy.
• This NBA All-Star commercial with Pharrell is cute.
• All snowed in, or should I say iced in, for two days this week.  Gives me time to read and catch up on work.  The question is, will I do it?
• I donated $20 to my school.  Maybe this will increase my chances of getting alumni tickets come football season.
• Cable, internet, and land line went out in my house for like two days.  It got real when my Dad said, "What am I supposed to do?"  Like dang you can't talk to your wife and daughter for the time being?!
• My Dad asked if I thought he was romantic.  I didn't tell the truth out of fear of hurting his feelings.
• Everytime I listen to Jhene Aiko I think about how I thought her career was over after B2K broke up.  She proved me wrong.
• I finished reading Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho.  That book went downhill after she met that painter.  I give it 3 out of 5.
• Found out this guy I used to "talk to" (If I can even call it that seeing how he annoyed me and the one time I went out with him was with other people) is engaged.  *Kanye shrug*
• Watched Free Angela and All Political Prisoners and Hidden Colors while the cable was out.  I recommend everyone watch those two documentaries, especially if you are a person of color.  Really got me thinking.
• Well we had an earthquake in my city.  I can't wait to share my story with my friends.

Friday Ramblings: Post 100!!!

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• I've gotta get out of this house.  Like it's too many adults in this house but the thought of paying a butt load of bills on my current salary doesn't sit well with me.
• Everytime I hear Katy Perry's Dark Horse I think of pole dancing and twerking for some reason.
• I had a conference with a parent this week.  My main concern?  What can I wear to look fabulous as I make an example of someone?  #MyrtleSnowStatus
• Heard some students talking about gonorrhea and how you get it from having sex with a person whose infected from AIDS.  I was going to say something until they said they learned it in health class.  I stepped back after that.
• One week before Valentine's Day.  All secret admirers can send gifts to my job.  
• If you know where I work and are a secret admirer you actually may be a stalker when I think about it.
• I think Bruno Mars's back-up singers got more shine than Kelly and Michelle got last year when they performed with Beyonce.  #ItAintShadeIfItsTheTruth
• I'm going to see Outkast perform.  I just thought I should let ya'll know.
• Erica Mena's boobs looked like they were about to pop out in that red dress during this Love & Hip Hop Reunion.
• Mary Jane is just oh so content being the side chick.  Do you boo but he's not leaving his wife for you.
• Can we just jump to my third or fourth year of teaching where I'm a pro at classroom management?  Like is that a possibility?
• I need another three days out of school so I can finish reading my book.
• Just discovered we have a day out this month.  #Winning
• New shoes and that dress that I've been waiting on for like a year came in the mail today.  
• I had a conference call for my program.  It was recommended to use yoga balls with my students to help calm them down in class because they have to concentrate in order to sit on the balls.  That's a big HELL NAW to that idea.  I can only imagine the disasters that would occur with that.  Students throwing them across the room or popping them.  No way, no how.
• Is it summer yet?
• I've found myself having to hold my tongue quite frequently.  I might snap one day.
• I want to go back to Athens simply so I can get around to trying Mama's Boy.
• Is there a difference between listening to your parent and listening to another adult?  I had a brief discussion of that with a coworker who I guess felt like kids should be more willing to listen to other adults than their parents.  Of course it all depends on the student.
• How is Farrah in couples therapy by herself?  Someone please tell me.
• Finally found out what type of sneakers all the boys at school are wearing, KDs.  They're actually really cute shoes.  I wouldn't mind a pair but I don't want my feet looking long in a pair of men's shoes.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• This Give Me Shelter movie looks pretty good.
• Fruitvale Station was good but not Oscar good.  Ya'll need to calm down with all that mess about it was snubbed.  
• Playing chess with someone who already knows you can't play is no fun.
• I'm ready to watch the last episode of American Horror Story:  Murder House so I can start the next season.  I'm addicted.
• I want a pair of Jordans.  Why?  I don't know.  Probably just to live out that childhood dream but I seriously do need another pair of sneakers.
• Some of these dudes on Tumblr give women a new type of hope with their back and forth "flirting" with folks that ask questions anonymously.  Like seriously ya'll need to chill before random chicks pop up at your doorstep with a bag full of duct tape and rope.  
• After two weeks of straight hair it's back to the twists.  See ya again in a year or two precious flat ironed hair.  
• Shrinkage is a mf'er ya'll!  I had my twists hanging down and looked like a middle school lesbian.
• Speaking of hair, box braids might be the look for the summer or some part of the school year.  Let me start saving up. #PoeticJustice
• Lupita Nyong'o is killing the award show fashion.  Like I've yet to see this chick in anything that doesn't look amazing.
• Why must we continue to push Keke Palmer's singing career?  Just let her act and be pretty.
• My Mom decided to make chitlins for Tuesday's dinner.  She's so wrong for that.  So, so wrong.
• Valentine's Day is slowly but surely approaching.  Let me prepare for the influx of gifts from random admirers.  
• I need new clothes.  
• I just had the sudden urge for some gold hoop earrings.  Let me go to Target.
• Watched the first season of American Horror Story:  Murder House.  That last episode had me and friend were like, "When is this going to end?!"  It was so long and drawn out for no good reason!
• Mary Jane looks like she has a weak <insert what happened at the beginning of the show> game.  She was just chilling.
• Tax Season is upon us.   Just had a student talk about how she's gonna be coming to work with all brand new clothes and shoes next month.  
• I think I might invest in some more running shoes with next month's check.

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Week of Jan. 26-31

• School was canceled for two three days because of this snow "storm"!!!
• The downside of this is my seminar for Friday has also been canceled because of the roads.  *sigh*  So much for a one day work week.
• Watched Captain Phillips with my family.  The entire movie all my Mom could say was, "They need some Black women on this ship."  
• Kudos to all those teachers in Atlanta who were snowed in with their students.  Lord knows what I would have done if I had to stay with my students overnight.  Probably walked home.  #BadTeacher 
• Currently reading Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho.  Pretty good I must say.
• So happy to be done paying this freaking tuition for my program.  That extra money is gonna come in handy.
• The dress that I ordered on like January 11 is finally in the country.  It's took forever and a day just for the order to go from "processing" to "packaged."  It better fit when it gets here too.
• Just realized my package has to go through Atlanta.  Let me prepare for another month of not having this dress.
• This new heating system in my house is making me sick.  It gets so freaking hot like it's the summer time and it's like no matter what we put the temperature on the upstairs is like a hot summer day.  I just end up sitting here with my fan on sweating bullets.
• I need to go to Washington D.C. to try some of this jumbo sized pizza from Pizza Mart and Jumbo Slice.  Yes, I want to travel that far simply for some pizza.  Don't judge me.  
• Wasn't really feeling Beyonce's performance or hair at The Grammy's but oh well.  Her dress was beautiful though.  Let me find one like that.
• All these engaged people are making me want to vomit.  Too much lovely dovey stuff for me, the girl with no emotions.
• Ready to go see The Monuments Men.  #HistoryNerd
• Dad bought me some new boots for my late birthday gift.  Now I have something to wear with those sweater tights.  God is good!
• I have been having some of the  weirdest dreams lately.  I'll leave it at that.
• When is Hit The Floor coming back on?!  That was good quality television right there.
• Bought a new pair of a oxfords from DSW...with a coupon...plus I had free shipping.  I'm just trying to make myself feel better about the money I just spent.
• My county has called me THREE times to remind me that work resumes Friday.  One call is enough.  The only reason you need to be calling me more than once is to tell me there's no work or you passed a little extra money my way this month.
• The clips of this Bernice chick from that towing show are so fake to me but oh so funny.

Technically this assignment is a 100.  I'm just saying.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• School was delayed by two hours this week.  The Lord answered my prayer from Monday in his own way.  Thank yah Jesus!
• Gabrielle Union is allegedly pregnant.  I'm hoping this isn't true seeing how D. Wade was running around sticking his penis in other women all unprotected and ish.  
• Speaking of D. Wade, what would possess him and Ludacris to go and just get these chicks pregnant simply because they were "on a break?"  Like if we've been together for a year and we take a break it does not mean go raw in these "longtime" friends of yours.  I wish my boyfriend would be that stupid.
• Had a student tell me I smelled like soap.  Ummmmm...I'll take that one as a compliment.
• Terrell Owens is in a Hardy's commercial with his man boobs.  Make that money boo!
• Let us take a moment and thank Beyonce for all this sex kitten music that she came out with.  #Surfboard #HeLikeToCallMePeaches #Rocket #Blow
• Let us give a shout out to Angela Basset for her awesome acting on American Horror Story:  Coven.  "Whose baby is that?"  "Mine!  Check the skin tone."  
• I was thinking long and hard about some stuff and realized if I were a jelly bean flavor I'd be Juicy Peach because it's the best tasting one.  That flavor is from the Jelly Belly company.  You know the ones who make the gourmet jelly beans?  Even when I'm picking minor stuff out like that I'm still bougie.
• My family and I went to see Mandela during Christmas Break.  It was a great movie I must say.  Idris Elba looked like an old pug when they showed him as the aged Mandela though.  I highly recommend this movie.
• Speaking of Mr. Elba, did you all see his tweet about what his bow tie does to him when he smiles?!  I may never look at a bow tie on an attractive man the same again.  
• This "Her" movie seems...creepy.  Like developing a romantic relationship with your computer is just...yeahhhhhh.
• I still wouldn't mind dying my hair blonde but like I always say I prefer not to wake up with a bunch of blonde hair laying on my bed unattached to my scalp.
• It's time for me to go on a trip.  Like I want to go to New Orleans or Miami really bad this summer and take tons of pictures with this camera my boo thang got me for Christmas in awesome clothes.
• I'm ready to buy a new summer wardrobe.  I'm thinking of lots of pattern shorts, wedges, and just bright colors.  Maybe a turban or two.  I want to do the cut off jean shorts look but I don't think it would be smart to wear that in my city with my job.  Might have to save them for that summer trip.
• I still have a life goal to develop an Erykah Badu effect on men.  
• Ruby Woo is like the greatest red lipstick ever minus the fact that it's so drying.
• Just watched a video for this #NaeNae dance.  Where's Terio?  

Strip tease gone wrong.

Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

• I bought some of that Pom Wonderful juice.  Lord Jesus I just about died after my first sip.  It was sooooooo sweet.  Then I saw there were like 32 grams of sugar in the little 8 ounce bottle I got.  I seriously can't stand super sweet juices anymore for some reason.  I'm currently a little light headed from it.  I pray I don't go in diabetic shock.
• I saw a man selling Girl Scout cookies at this church the down the street from me and proceeded to freak out in my, "Oh my GAWDDDDD Girl Scout cookies!!!!"  I forgot my windows were down until the man started smiling and laughing.
• My coworker/friend and I are trying to figure out the best way to talk to guys.  We're both too socially awkward to just walk up to someone and say, "Hey what's your name" or whatever the hell you say to guys you're trying to hit on without looking desperate.
• I recently sent in some information so I could volunteer with a local Girl Scout troop.  I figure it would be nice to do some work with young girls in the community and I'm sure one of them has a young, single daddy.
• Being healthy is too freaking expensive.  I want to make fruit smoothies but a bag of frozen fruit is like $10 I swear.
• Brandy said she feels like she's Sasha Fierce.  Hoe calm yo' a$$ down.
• I see Ciara is giving concerts out in local bathrooms.  Get yo' shine gurl!  At least her new song Body Party sounds somewhat decent for the first minute and a half.
• Bow Wow is so corny and has this huge ego for nothing.  Why did I ever like him?
• I seriously want to know what Lala Anthony's real hair looks like.  It has to be nice.  I just feel it.
• On of my coworkers told me her first impression of me was that I was a lesbian.  Well I'll be damned.
• Got my dress from Forever 21 that I talked about last week.  It fits perfectly.  I still can't gain any belly.
• I'd seriously love to work for a radio station or entertainment show just telling what's going on in celebrities' lives.  Like I'd be damn good at it I think.
• I'm watching old episodes of Duck Dynasty, and Phil and Kay are some freaks.
• So I went to Waffle House and while I was there one of the Black waitresses said to a white waitress, "If you really want to get me back you gotta find me when I have a fresh perm."  Chileeeeeeeeee she's tryna set that white girl up!  Like I just know it!  That girl would be signing her own death certificate if she tried to get whatever type of revenge on that girl after a touch up.
• I'm more convinced that Nicki Minaj's boobs are fake after watching the "Freaks" music video.
• I guess UPS and Fed Ex have just stopped delivering to your house.  Because the past two orders I've had from them will arrive in Augusta and be sent straight to the post office once they touch down in Augusta.
• My Mom just decided it would be appropriate to start reading about the benefits of orgasms in front of me from the new Essence magazine.  I put my plate in the sink and ran up stairs.  How dare she!