There are times when I question if I'm made for marriage...like seriously. There are some people out there who have been with someone for over 30 years and preach everyday about how much they still love the person. Let's not even get started on folks who have been together 50-60 years. My parents have been married for 33 years and I question how in the hell they do it. They're not this super affectionate couple like the ones I mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph. I've never seen them hold hands in public or simply in the car while driving. They kiss and all that junk every blue moon
There are times when I think maybe I should just have a long term boyfriend because marriage is just changing your last time honestly, but then I think of other things. I'd prefer to have kids with the man I'm married to and you kind of get insurance benefits for marriage which is pretty important in this time, not sure about ones for common law marriage. Plus I'm from the South. My parents are not about that live in boyfriend/baby mama stuff. My Dad asked me what my plans were post-graduation and I jokingly said I would move in with my boyfriend. He didn't start screaming or anything, but the look on his face as he shook his head and told me "That's a bad idea" said so much more than he intended. Like I'm pretty sure if I ever moved in with any man that was just a boyfriend my parents would never come visit me...well stay with me
Of course I am 22 years old and probably one of the most lost souls in the world right now. One day I know what I want to do with my life and the next I'm back at square one crying at the thought of living in a cardboard box downtown. Tomorrow I'll probably be talking about how I can't wait to be married and reblogging wedding dresses on Tumblr because low key I've already started planning my wedding out despite all of these thoughts. This might be a sign that I need to wait until my late 20's/early 30's to even consider marriage or else I'll be doomed. I think this entire post is inspired by Halle Berry's interview with Wendy Williams and how Halle said she's probably a better mother at 46 than she could have ever imaged in her 20's.