Friday Ramblings

It's Friday, so you know the deal...

• Wow...it's been awhile since I typed that out.
• I had the "privilege" of being hit on last week while in my car with my friend.  Despite telling the guy that I had a boyfriend he informed me he would happily be my "side n****" because it's 2017.  I should have been kind enough to inform him that it's 2016, but I don't think he would have cared. #NobodyHitsOnMe #BlameMyRestingWitchFace #ImCute #IGuess
• I thought about cutting my hair, but once again I'm a punk.  Like seriously, I am the biggest punk.
• Netflix is the Devil.  I've watch the full House of Cards series (Season 4 didn't impress me too much) and I'm nearly finished with Mad Men (Today is Monday and I'll probably be finished by the time this is posted.)  I'm pretty sure this isn't healthy.  
• Speaking of Mad Men, Don Draper is bae.  Well he would be bae but I'm pretty sure he had to have contracted some type of STD because all he does is sleep with women...like A LOT of women.  
• My friend called my FitBit an old people's watch in a subtle way.  I tried to kick her out of Logan's, but she didn't leave.  I just cut my eyes at her the rest of the time. Taylor this is about you.
• Taking a cake decorating class.  I'm ready to turn in my letter of resignation and sell cakes out of my house.  I mean, who cares if I only know how to do a rosette swirl.  Right?  Baby Cakes coming soon!
• Pretty sure I have ADD but nobody has diagnosed me.
• I need a serious vacation.  As in me at the beach in swimsuit covered in a t-shirt so nobody can see my chubby body.
• American Crime Story has made me obsessed with O.J. Simpson.  Anything that comes on about him I have to watch.  
• My Mom turned 35 despite having a child whose 37 and another whose 26.  I've gotta ask her what's her secret. #SheKnowsAboutTheFountainOfYouth
• My step-grandmother believes men should be allowed to cheat.  I should have informed her that nobody cares about her opinion.
• Have y'all seen the videos of the guy who cooks a bunch of stuff with Hennessy?  Everytime I watch them I want to vomit  and then I question why he's wasting his money and good food.
• I still can't believe Donald Trump is actually a presidential nominee.  Like, Republicans you all should be ashamed of yourselves.  This is the equivalent of letting your bad child get out of hand and to the point that you can't control them anymore.  Republicans, this is your fault.  Be ashamed of yourself.
• OJ's friend AC is a wimp.  He let OJ TAKE his girlfriend, was ready to take a bullet for him, and then was his getaway driver.  I guess some people would say he's a good friend, but I just call him stupid.
• Since I don't have cable I've been watching a ton of 30 for 30 films.  Some of these stories are absolutely sad.  Case in point, Without Bias, which is about Len Bias who died two days after being drafted by the Celtics from a cocaine overdose.
• This alligator case is so out of hand.  They're shutting all these beaches down because of it.  I'll hold some of my feelings to myself.
• How in the heck did the Warriors lose the series?!  Like...I'm not even a basketball fan but the feelings I felt when I discovered the Cavs won game 7.  #LightSkinBrotherComebackHasComeToAClose #StephCurryWithoutTheShotBoy
• Y'all men turned on Ayesha Curry quick, fast, and in a hurry when she said the NBA was rigged.  What happened to y'all wanting an Ayesha in your life?  #SheCanCook #SheCanClean #JustDontSpeakYourMind
• Some of y'all need to teach your kids manners.  I had a kid jump over me at the movies and the grandma didn't tell him to say "excuse me" or anything.  Just rude...I wanted to yank his behind back so bad, but I'm not made for jail.
• Finding Dory was somewhat sad at some parts.  I found myself nearly shedding a tear, but quickly wiped my eyes. #NoTearsOnMyCheeks #ThugLife #StillNotMadeForJail
• OMG Kanye said his wife is the female OJ in this Schoolboy Q song.  This is so amusing to me. My love for Kanye might return.
• Speaking of Kanye...Kim Kardashian should have kept her "soul" food plate picture on her phone.  I saw that picture and laughed for a good minute.
• This woman in my decorating class does what she wants.  Instructor tells us to make buttercream icing.  She makes cream cheese icing.  Instructor says bake a cake so we can tort and level it in class.  She brings the half of the cake that she already torted so she has no true top layer.  Why are you in the class if you're just going to do what you want?!
• Why y'all sending Britney Griner "Happy Father's Day" tweets?  I swear I hate y'all because you have no chill.  Like zero chill any given day.  
• I managed to watch the first episode of Oprah's show Greenleaf thank God for my parents having cable.  It was pretty good.  Not sure how it can be a tv series instead of a miniseries, but if Oprah can keep a story going then it should be fine.
• Speaking of that show, Lynn Whitfield always has to play some evil woman.  ALWAYS!  Her face is super snatched though.  Like that thing just got a lift a month before the series started to film.
• It's so hot in Georgia y'all.  Like my thighs are sweating every moment it feels like.  This could be a sign that I need to lose weight though.
• Mom's out here getting arrested for whipping their kids after catching them in the wrong.  I told my Mom about this and how she should be in jail for all the whippings I received.  Her only response was, "I probably didn't whip you enough." #SheDontCare #SecondChildGetsNoLove