Monday, December 31, 2012

25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.

2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.
7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.
25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.

January Nelson, 06/25/12

Ending Of One Chapter, Beginning Of The Next

I can't believe the year is about to be OVER!  It's so funny reflecting on the things  I was doing around this time last year and how far I've come in life.  2012 has been somewhat rough on me I feel, but filled with tons of growing experiences if I do say so.  Last year I was this person worried about graduating from college by the end of 2012 and figuring out what to do with myself.  Although there were times when I really thought I couldn't do all of my work I pushed through and made it.  For that I can only thank God and my parents for telling me not to stop.  Because of that I became the first person in my household to graduate from college, but not just any college the state flagship university which is a pretty big deal if you ask me.  Now I'm trying to make moves in an effort to start obtaining my Master's degree in the Fall.  Like it's seriously just amazing to me.  I'm just ready to start my life and my career like every other college graduate.  I just have to put the work forth in an effort to reach those goals.  I know that a big issue of mine is I set goals then I kind of forget about them.  Academically I don't have time to play these games anymore.

Around this time last year I was also in a relationship, but as the year came to a close that did too.  I've seriously sat and been sad over it for some time, but now I think it's just time to let things go.  My family has offered me so much advice on what happened and I really think my Mom's advice was the best.  No matter how often she tells me I become so wrapped up in relationships with guys I don't believe her and I'm only 23.  I should be living life, being happy, and dating around instead of just "settling down" with one person.  Oddly enough I've heard this from an older man at one of my favorite restaurants in Athens.  He was speaking with me about whether or not I had a boyfriend and if I loved him.  Upon telling him yes to both things he told me that I was too young to be with just one person and being "in love" with them.  I remember sitting there shaking my head at what he was saying because I loved this guy and had no interest in being with anyone else.  I think I'm going to take the advice of my Mom and this older fellow.  I have sooooooo much to learn about love you guys.  I think I know what love is because I'm nearly 23 and I'll be the first person to holler about how 16 or 17 year old people have no clue what love is, but the reality is that I don't know myself.  I think love is someone spending time with me or doing special things out of the blue, but there is so much more to it that I need to learn.  With that said I also need to stop focusing so much on becoming this single 30 year old Black woman that the media talks about because that is part of the reason why I end up in these situations.  I also need to go ahead and admit that I'm somewhat shallow when it comes to men.  I've had the chance to date some pretty nice guys, but because they didn't look the way that I envisioned or I couldn't imagine them in a certain light I looked over them.  By doing this I've found myself just dealing with heartbreak and viewing men, particularly Black ones, as not being worth the effort.  I already know that I'm about to be dealing with major trust issues in my next relationship because I'm to the point where I seriously don't trust men, which I hate saying.

I really just want to enjoy 2013 and learn about myself.  I feel like I've spent the past 22 years living for others and it's really time to just live for myself in an effort to make me happy.   I want to do all of the things that I feared doing in the past because I'm tired of living with regrets.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Friday Ramblings: The Last of 2012

It's Friday so you know the deal...

  • Well I've survived the end of the world for like the third or fourth time in my life.  Slowly but surely breaking records.
  • I have zero clue on how to deal with break-ups and I hate it.  
  • Supposedly Tupac only had one testicle.  Who knew.
  • So I was watching Ice Loves Coco and my Dad comes in my room, looks at the tv and says "Whose that white girl with the big booty?"  I immediately told him to GET OUT!
  • I saw the most beautiful man in the world at the mall with my Mom on Sunday.  He was tall, a nice caramel color, and had light brown eyes.  My Mom knew his dad some type of way.  I sit back and wonder why I didn't ask him if he had a girlfriend and what he was doing later in the week.
  • Speaking of beautiful men, why Michael Ealy?  WHY?!?!
  • So my Mom got me a five quart crock pot and this big mirror for Christmas to help start my collection of things I'll need when I move out. 
  • I'm sitting here watching Alex Haley's Queen and all I have to say is Queen was an unappreciative high yellow heifer.  You ain't about to get paid for not working woman!
  • Speaking of Queen, if Halle can pass for white I KNOW I can.
  • If you ain't got no shirt you ain't APO Twerk Team.
  • I love being around older family because they just tell all their dirt.  Especially if they used to be a little loose back in the day.  When they're late-50's/early-60's they just don't care what you think of them.
  • My 39 year old cousin just asked me if they still have pajama parties out at UGA.  Ya'll I didn't know what to say without giving myself away.  S/o to the UGA Alphas
  • Until you have a daughter that's what I call karma and you pray to God she don't grow breasts too soon...that lyric has been in my head ALL week ya'll.
  • Mission four pack abs and donkey booty are about to be in full effect for the New Year!  Everyone is gonna see me and be like, "Whoa wasn't she on King Magazine?"

Friday, December 21, 2012

End of the World Friday Ramblings

It's Friday so you know the deal...

  • I haven't done one of these in like two or three weeks!  Why oh why?
  • So since I'm finally home I can indulge in all my ratchet television shows.  1.)  Did ya'll watch The Ghetto B*tches View a.k.a. Tiny's Show?  The only person I'm here for on that show is my girl Shekinah.  Her hair was laid! *in my Funky Dineva voice*  2.)  I KNOW after this week's episode of Catfish my 6'5'' Black Hispanic man with a PhD is waiting on me somewhere.  He's probably somewhere talking about how he knows his 5'3'' (4'') feisty Black woman is out there somewhere.  Don't worry baby we will  meet soon...and it better not be on eHarmony.
  • I need $33k ya'll for these student loans.  Who wants to help me out?  Like I'm seriously about to set up a Paypal account and hope the money starts rolling in.
  • I just want to be happy and feel the way I felt a month ago.  Is that too much to ask?  I'm tired of feeling like a cry baby and all this other stuff.   Screw this statement.  I'm good.  I have a degree and I'm planning on getting another one.  No reason for tears.
  • Dear journalists, how many times are you all going to write about black women's hair contributing to their lack of exercise?  Like seriously you hear it once or twice and you get it.  The same thing goes for black women in regards to why so many are single and never been married.  We as black women get it already.
  • The trailer for Tyler Perry's Temptations:  The Marriage Counselor looks good!  I hate even saying that about Tyler Perry films because I'm always afraid that I'm going to get tricked and at the end the woman is gonna find Jesus.
  • My Mom just evaluated me and I must say she's right when it comes to how I get so wrapped up in relationships.  I'm not sure how easily that can be changed, but I think I just want to test the waters out.  Man eater/Nola Darling status!
  • Michael Ealy got married!  When I tell ya'll my heart broke, along with every other black woman, I'm not lying.  Thing is dude has been with the woman for FOUR, let me say that again, FOUR years!  Here we were all thinking he was single.  Ugh!!!!!!
  • I got some good news this week!  I won't fully announce it because I have this fear of jinxing things, but I just hope things play out in my favor because it could be a positive step in my future.
  • I tell my friends to go out and get drinks.  They start talking about getting wasted.  I'm just sitting here like, "Ehhhhh..."
  • Look at that a$$$$$$$$$ (NSFW...I think)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

It's Been A Long Time...

OH EMMMMM GEEEEEE!!!!!  It's been awhile since I wrote ANYTHING on here!  Why have I been neglecting the FOUR followers that I have?  Shame on me.  Well let's see, a lot has been going on in my life I must say...well not a lot but enough to cause major changes in my life.  1.)  I'm single!  Even though I've gone through the whole crying my eyes out phase and not being able to eat I am accepting it because I know there's always something positive in God's plans and it just means that he's not included in that plan. 2.)  Most importantly, I've graduated from college!!!! *proceeds to beef it up*  Throughout the four and a half years I spent at UGA I must say that there were times when I wanted to give up, but I kept pushing through and accomplished my goal.  So what's next?

Plan A is attend graduate school and obtain my Masters of Art in Teaching more than likely from Augusta State.  I need to save money so economically this would be the smartest decision because I can live at home which means I don't have to worry about rent or food.  Of course in order to accomplish this I need to take the GRE and some GACE exams.  So time to start studying I guess. *sigh*  Plan B is to do City Year in Washington  D.C.  With City Year I'd be working as a mentor/tutor at local school and working within the community to help decrease the drop-out rate.  The only downfall with this would be the pay because from what I've read I'll end up on food stamps which doesn't sound too amazing, but it's more about the impact you make on someone's life at the end of the day.  I also feel like this would give me the opportunity to have some experience in the classroom.  Of course this being one of my post-graduate plans played a major part in one of the changes that came with my life, so maybe that's more reason to go.  When the time comes I'll decide though.

While I'm back at home I'll be working in an effort to start paying these student loan back because they are no joke!  They tell you if you fail to pay after 270 they'll report you to the credit bureau and ask for all their money back up front.  The government is so scary.  At least I only have loans out through them thanks to my parents for sacrificing the rest of the money I needed.  I hope to find a better job while I'm here and get certified to be a substitute teacher.  I just know that its time for me to move on from my old job and do something a bit more professional.  The search for jobs begins.